The Law Office of Anne B. Howard, ASP Email Us 5650 El Camino Real, Suite 225 Carlsbad, California 92008 Phone: 760-931-5437 Fax: 760-579-0053 Toll-Free: 866-326-2889

Anne B. Howard, Esq.

Anne has worked in family law for the past 12 years, since 2000 as an attorney.  She started her firm in 2003 offering client’s alternative dispute resolution options such as collaborative resolution and mediation, in addition to traditional litigation.  Anne is a court-appointed attorney representing children in Probate guardianships and also represents private clients in guardianships of the person. 

Despite her background working for high asset clients in high conflict cases, her passion is protecting children.  Anne is actively involved in various children non-profit organizations such as The Juvenile Court Book Club, Inc. taking literature to incarcerated youth.  In addition, she is a member of the Children At Risk Committee of the SDCBA, educating elementary school children about the legal process and is a member of the National Association of Counsel for Children.

Divorce and Mediation: A Different Approach to Divorce

One alternative to divorce litigation is divorce mediation.  If mediation is successful, the parties never appear in court; many personal issues are never put into public documents; parties are able to reach an agreement resolving all issues and they save money on attorney fees.   

Mediation involves the parties meeting with a neutral mediator who tries to help the parties reach an agreement settling their issues.  The mediator then prepares all the forms and agreement required by the court to complete the divorce.  The mediator should be an attorney, who can provide the parties with the law on various issues.  The mediator does not represent either party and should not meet with or provide legal advice to one side without the other party being present. 

Some paralegals provide mediation services.  However, the State Bar does not allow a non-attorney to give legal advice – that would be practicing law without a license.  Paralegals do not know the law, what they know is the procedure involved in filling out documents and getting those documents through court.  Many people save money by using paralegals to do their divorce.  Those people generally have no idea how they would do in court and what their legal rights are.  Some end up with agreements that negatively affect the rest of their lives and leave their children without sufficient support. 

Although the parties are directly involved in the divorce process when they mediate their divorce, many of the emotions that led to the breakup are still there.  These emotions can interfere with the mediation process.  Parties often use mental health professionals to help them deal with these emotions so that the emotions do not make mediation unsuccessful. 

If mediation is unsuccessful, the parties litigate their divorce in court.  The mediator should never represent either of the parties if mediation fails.   

Divorce and Litigation: Fighting in Court

There are 3 ways to get a divorce:

• Litigation
• Mediation
• Collaborative Divorce™. 

This article deals with the most common way: Litigation.  The word conjures up images of attorneys fighting in court to convince someone in a black robe to give one side more than the other side.  People hope that the judge will make the “right” decision. 

In reality a judge does not really know the family, the individuals or perhaps the facts involved.  Each judge probably has 5,000 or more cases.  Too often the judge has not had an opportunity to read the file before the judge hears the case.  The judge has to sift through the mediators’ (Family Court Services) recommendations, attorneys’ arguments and the evidence the attorneys or parties present in order to reach a decision.  The parties are silent through most proceedings.  Their attorney is their voice. 

If the parties have not worked with their attorneys, their attorneys may not know their case and the party’s voice may not be heard.  One common reason is that the retainer paid to hire the attorney is quickly used and the parties want to avoid incurring more fees.  However, if the attorney does not know the case, how can the judge. 

A party can proceed without an attorney but the party generally does not know the rules required to get the documents they need to present their case or how to get the evidence before the judge so that the judge can rule in their favor.  Litigation is financially very costly especially when one party runs their own business and financial records are a mess or non-existent.

Very often one party has difficulty with the way the breakup was handled by the other person or the affair that may have led to the breakup.  The affairs are generally irrelevant. The law does not care about infidelity or hurt feelings.  California is a “no fault” state.  People want justice.  “Justice” rarely happens in family law.  How can it, if the judges have so many cases.  “Division” is generally what happens in family law.   

Litigation is emotionally particularly expensive – someone else is operating the ride, the judge, the court, the attorney, the other side, their attorney, etc.  The silent party is often bewildered before, during and after court.  Parties often benefit by using a therapist to help them get through a divorce and come out stronger afterwards.

Divorce Classes

"Divorce Doctors"

Don't want to hire an attorney? Save time and money. Make an appointment with the Divorce Doctors before you see the judge.

• Waiting for help completing divorce forms at the Courthouse can take eight hours.
• Attend our attorney-led Saturday classes and leave with completed forms ready to copy and file at the Court.
• New, low-cost classes guide you from start to finish.
• Call (866) 326-2889 for reservations and schedule

Please email us or visit our website for additional information.