Been married for almost 7 yrs. I make almost double what my husband makes. We have 2 children (2 & 5yrs old). We are divorcing and he says he doesn't want custody, I have to pay him half my pension and I pay him alimony. Can this be? – Tina

Answer:

Tina: The Wall Street Journal had an article recently that men are obtaining alimony awards more frequently these days when married to high income wives.

Married in 1985 bought a house in 2000 in his name only on the loan and the deed, what are my rights to the house? – Joan

Answer:

Joan: In my state, property acquired during the marriage is marital property no matter whose name it is in. And the divorce court can distribute marital property equitably.

My husband had a separation agreement drawn up, we tweaked it until we both agreed what was in it, my question is this..i have done everything that was spelled out in the agreement he has done nothing, our divorce should become final in July, what if he never does what is stated in the agreement can he still file for divorce, shouldn't he be in breach of contract? – Stacey

Answer:

Stacey: He can file for divorce and you can sue him for breach of contract. Or you can ask the judge at the divorce hearing to give you a judgment for the obligations he has failed to perform.

My wife and I have been living apart for one year.For religious purposes she will only file under adultery. I have no problem with this being that I am seeing someone. She is stating that she needs some sort of affidavit from a 3rd party stating that they have witnessed me with someone else. Is this true? – CA

Answer:

CA: Some states, like mine, require that all the elements of the divorce be corroborated by evidence other than from the parties. This is to make sure the parties are telling the truth and not making up grounds for divorce.

Is it true that if, while married, I worked two or more jobs to put my wife thru college, i will not have to give her half of any of my assets? – Larry

Answer:

Larry: I would not agree with that statement. In a divorce, the court looks at the assets the parties have acquired during the marriage and distributes them fairly.

I want a divorce, but my husband doesn't. So, I guess I am stuck since it takes both incomes to keep our home. My husband makes bad choices financially, and I am so tired of having to bail him out or do without. We both make about the same amount, and I refuse to put anything else in my name. From now on it will have to be in his if he wants it. I know if any of his bill are not paid, it will go against his credit, but, is there any way I can make him be responsible for his own debt in the event I can eventually afford to move out? – Karen

Answer:

Karen: He is responsible for his own debt to the lender. But the divorce court can treat debt as marital debt no matter whose name it is in. The only way to change this is with an agreement.

Ex-husband cries in front of our preschool-age son, insists they sleep in the same bed during visits, won't take him to activities he's supposed to attend (such as birthday parties) but instead sticks him in front of a TV for hours on end. Would like to ask that ex-husband be given only supervised visitation until he takes some parenting classes. Am I being unrealistic? – Paige

Answer:

Paige: No, but here’s another option. See if your ex-husband will agree to a written parenting plan that includes rules like how much television the child is to watch and so forth. And it will go more smoothly if you make all the rules mutual, that is to apply at both houses.

I am being sued for adultery by my husband. I am willing to divide our assets in half; however, he also wants me to pay his legal fees, court costs, and any expenses associated with the house after I left. How much of a chance does he have at succeeding? And, what are the approximate court costs? – Trudy

Answer:

Trudy: Legal fees are hard to get. Court costs are about $100. The court may, but does not have to, award reimbursement for housing costs.

I got divorced just over 1 year ago. We went through mediation and agreed to me paying her $300 a month because I left her with more than $150,000 in equity in the house we owned. Now she is coming back & threatening to take me back to court because she feels she’s not getting enough every month. Can she do this? And if she is entitled to come back and get more money, am I also entitled to go back and get my fair share of the equity?

Answer:

Jason: The court has no power to modify the property division. Spousal support can be changed by the court unless the agreement provides that it is non-modifiable. However, she will have to convince the court that there has been a change in circumstances since the time of divorce.

If filing under adultery, can the person who committed the adultery file under that? – Carol

Answer:

Carol: No, you cannot file for divorce based on your own adultery.

Just saw your website. Really nice. Have a question of the day: If my husband/wife has returned to Mexico...we have no children...how do I serve him/her with divorce papers. – Bobby

Answer:

Bobby: Thanks for the kind words. Obviously, it is not as easy to serve someone in Mexico as in your own state. We use an international process server that specializes in this sort of thing and takes care of all the arcane procedures. Otherwise, I would try to find one with a search engine on the Internet.

if my ex-wife and I have joint custody, And I have been ordered to pay child support. How do I go about getting the automatic payment stopped now that I have my girls? – Todd

Answer:

Todd: You have to ask the court to modify custody and child support. It will be easier if you can get your ex-wife to agree to sign and file a consent order with you.

My husband and I are getting a divorce and our trying to do it without lawyers. We've agreed on what debt goes to who however, we have about $30,000 that we owe to his mother that she has let us use her credit cards taken out a loan etc in the course of our marriage. How do we, on the paperwork show this debt since it is not in either of our names. Without this debt included, his debt load is a lot less than mine on paper and so we're afraid the judge is going to give half of mine to him. If we have her write something up showing we owe her this money will that make a difference or what are we to do? – Judi

Answer:

Judi: You can document a loan with a promissory note which you can find at most business stores. The best way to approach the judge is with a signed and written marital settlement agreement that explains, among other things, how the debt is divided, who will pay what and when.

My husband and I are divorcing. He is going to get a mortgage to buy me out of our home. The divorce is not final yet. Can I go on and buy a house once he pays me? – Dee

Answer:

Dee: I always recommend that you have, at the very least, a signed, written, Partial Property Settlement Agreement first, so there will be no misunderstandings later.

My divorce has been lingering in the legal system for almost 5 years. We both live in different states, since the divorced process started and after selling the marital home and splitting the equity 50/50. The court continues to delay the process to resolve cases involving children. There are no children involved in our case. The question is what can be done to expedite the process? – Jack

Answer:

Jack: There are more cases than there are judges to hear them. That’s why judges are happy to hear that cases on their trial calendars have settled. If you can settle your case, sign a marital settlement agreement, and amend your pleadings to an uncontested divorce, it has been my experience that the judge will move you to the front of the line.

Is the non-custodial parent responsible for taking his children during his designated visitation period? My ex took me back to court to get more time with his kids & is now refusing to take them during his summer possession time & oftentimes during his scheduled Wednesdays or weekends, sometimes leaving me to cancel plans I have made based on knowing the children will be with him? Is this legal & what rights do I have to enforce him taking his children? – Chellie

Answer:

Chellie: Visitation is a right and not an obligation, so if he waives his right, then he doesn’t get visitation and that’s his penalty. The court will not order him to take the children. However, you could petition the court to change custody or visitation if he doesn’t exercise his rights. I would try talking to him first and explain not so much the inconvenience to you, but more the disappointment of the children in not seeing him.

My husband knows the judge! My husband filed for divorce in the county we were married in and he still lives. He is a police officer and has many ties to the judge who is hearing our case. I have motioned for a change of venue to the county (4hours away) that our children and myself live, and it has been 2 months and still no answer. There is no way this could be fair, right? - Audrey

Answer:

Audrey: Just because you know someone doesn't necessarily mean you will be biased in favor of that person. In fact, in some cases you could be biased against someone you know. Your motion is essentially a motion asking the judge to recuse himself or herself because he or she would be biased in favor of your husband. This will be ruled upon by the same judge you are trying to take off the case.

I was wondering if there are any legal rights for a woman who has been verbally abused. Is it legal to record the verbal abuse? Will a judge take 'word-of-mouth' verbal abuse horror stories seriously? I have no physical scars, but the emotional ones are very deep, yet I feel it would be a he-said, she-said situation, and I feel sad and trapped. – Sarah

Answer:

Sarah: Words can hurt more than physical abuse and the pain can last longer. If the words are threats of physical violence, a party can be put out of the house in my jurisdiction. And cruelty is one of the grounds for divorce here. Another name for word-of-mouth is testimony and yes the judges do take that seriously. But judges are only human and there is no lie detector at the bench.

My Ex wife and I have gone through a messy divorce and finally realized it is about the kids, we were seeing an evaluator that is now with our authority the "family counselor" for parenting. On the dark side the courts have appointed a child’s rep that does nothing. In on year all she has done is take the Dr's forms retype them and charge us double. She does not even know the names of the kids. but knows how to bill us 12 K. We both want to fire her or have her removed since she is a hindrance in this case. How do we get rid of the Child’s rep? –Eric

Answer:

Eric: The Court appointed her, so you will have to petition the Court to remove her.

Married for almost 12 years. Want a divorce. How can I ensure getting custody of our children? – Judy

Answer:

Judy: Custody is more complex than just a word. It involves long term and short term parenting decisions, primary residence and timesharing. It may also affect what happens to the marital residence as well as support. The best way to ensure the result you want on all these issues is to agree on a parenting plan with your spouse. Otherwise, a judge is going to decide and there is no way to ensure or predict that result.