Daily Stories on Divorce & Family Law

EMILY RAMSHAW

The Dallas Morning News

The faltering national economy is taking its toll on Texas kids. More parents are making their child support payments from unemployment checks and asking judges to lower their financial burdens. Those who managed fine for years without that kind of assistance are fighting for it to make ends meet. Caseloads are going up in Dallas and other North Texas counties. And more than a million children are caught in the squeeze.

"It's definitely a reflection of the economy. We're getting more requests to enforce orders, and we're seeing more people apply for our services – parents who didn't" seek it before, said Janece Rolfe, spokeswoman for the Texas attorney general's child support division. "Children need child support more than ever when the economy is failing," she said.

Source: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/news/texassouthwest/legislature/stories/DN-kidsupport_02met.ART.State.Edition2.4be0d60.html

The Courier Journal

While money can be a source of tension in any relationship, couples who are remarrying after divorce may have an entirely different set of concerns to address, especially if children are involved.

While many newlyweds are just beginning their adult lives together, those who remarry already have experience in sharing a household with another person and making financial decisions together. Their approaches to money may be completely different. It's a good idea to understand these differences now and to develop a financial approach that will suit your new family.

Source: http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20090701/BUSINESS/90702002/1003/BUSINESS

Stacey Rocha

Examiner.com

The holidays are approaching and this means having to divide the children's time with you and your ex.  In most cases this has been already worked out and on some form of a holiday schedule.  Though if you are in the beginning of the process it may not be this easy.  One thing to keep in mind when disputing this with your ex is that your children were used to family holidays and now they have lost that.  This is not the time to be selfish and only think of your own needs.  Work something out that is in the best of interest of the children.  If your children are older, then consult with them, make sure they have some input on the scheduling.  Again, everyone has been affected by your divorce and everyone has to readjust.

The eight common holidays that come into question when deciding who the children will be with are, New Year's Day, Easter, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  One of the most common ways to work out the holiday schedules would be to have one parent have them one year which results in having them four of the eight major holidays and the other parent would get the other four.  Then the next year they would flip flop holidays.  This gives each parent equal holiday time and with different holidays each year to plan for.  Mother's Day and Father's Day are usually split where dad would have them for Father's Day and mom would have them for Mother's Day.  These two days generally do not change.  As far as the holidays that are not as celebrated nationally, but may have been celebrated or there are school closings for, these are usually granted to whoever has the children for that day during the week.  So if your parenting plan has you having the children Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays and the holiday falls during that time, it would be your holiday and your responsibility.   This can also be arranged between you and your ex depending on how good your communication is.

Source: http://www.examiner.com/x-9030-Omaha-Divorce-Support-Examiner~y2009m6d30-Children-and-holidays

Melissa Korn

Wall Street Journal

Lawyers used to tell clients to put their pre-nuptial agreements in a locked drawer and keep them there unless the marriage goes south. These days, however, some are recommending a second look at those documents, no matter how stable your relationship may be.

As asset values plummeted over the past year, your net worth probably did, too. And don’t think you have to be a gazillionaire to need a pre-nup, anyway. Any couple who saw the value of their house or vacation home skyrocket then plummet over the past decade or a couple with substantial individual savings or investment assets could be due for a review.

Source: http://blogs.wsj.com/wallet/2009/06/29/why-your-pre-nup-may-need-a-check-up/

Anna Prior

Wall Street Journal

Jon and Kate calling it quits might be the news of the moment, but financial hardships brought on by the recession already have helped make separation or divorce a reality for couples across the country. Yet the recession also is causing some unhappy couples to rethink their marital situation, since a costly divorce would only further deplete already-shrunken assets.

"People are staying in poor marriages because this would be the worst time to file for a divorce since they would get a much smaller piece" of a smaller pie, says Bob Adelman, a Los Angeles-based attorney and certified family-law specialist. According to a survey by the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, 68% of the 270 certified divorce financial analysts who responded said they had seen clients who couldn't afford to get divorced because of recession-related financial problems.

Source: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124614756531665085.html

Camille Olive

Pennlive.com

As yet another Father's Day came and went, many of us spent the day reflecting on our own fathers, and how much of an impact they have had in our lives. For better or worse, America's children need their dads in their lives.

Statistics show that children who grow up in homes without a strong male role model have higher rates of teen pregnancy, drug abuse and alcoholism. These at-risk kids also will raise the bar on high school dropout rates, criminal activity and divorce. Having a dad around to guide a child pays off in the long run. Even if a divorce occurs, children need to know their fathers so they can understand who they are. 

Source: http://www.pennlive.com/editorials/index.ssf/2009/06/fathers_provide_sense_of_secur.html

Dr. Barton Goldsmith

Ventura County Star

When a couple breaks up, there may be a division of property and money, and if there are children (or pets), there will be a custody arrangement as well. The final thing to be divvied up will be your mutual friends. This process can be unsettling for all involved.

Most of the time, true friends try to remain neutral. Make no mistake, being in this position is tough and can be burdensome on the friendship. The good ones won’t want to take sides, and they can find it hard to listen to the breaking-up friend vent. It’s simply uncomfortable to hear that kind of negativity about somebody you like.

Source: http://www.venturacountystar.com/news/2009/jun/28/dont-force-friends-to-pick-sides-after-a-split/

Sally Herigstad

Creditcards.com

I live in California. My husband and I divorced in 2006. Some of our credit card accounts were joint, and some were not. In our marriage settlement agreement, we split the debts and each agreed to keep certain cards and pay them off. I have since paid off all the accounts I kept that were joint. Unfortunately, he did not. He filed for bankruptcy two years ago. Included in the bankruptcy were three joint creditors, with a total balance owed of $24,000 and some change.

Now these creditors are calling me, trying to collect the money. I recently received a letter from an attorney's office, trying to collect one of the debts. I am concerned that these creditors may file a judgment against me, maybe garnish my wages, tax refund or try to collect in some other way. I own no property and my 7-year-old car is paid off. I have a 401(k) plan and some money in my CalSTRS retirement plan (I'm a school teacher). I make a decent salary now, but losing even a little of my income would make me unable to pay my bills. Can they sue me for the debts? Do I have any other ways of protecting myself? What can I do?

Source:  http://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/herigstad-when-exes-dont-pay-joint-accounts-1294.php

Jeannette Lofas

Examiner.com

MARK SCHLUEB

Orlando Sentinel

You've heard of happily married, but is it possible to have a happy divorce? A growing number of lawyers -- including some who've spent careers brawling in divorce court -- say yes. They're disciples of "collaborative divorce," which tries to bring civility and cooperation to the traditionally bitter battle over the kids, family home and Grandma's silver.

Rather than each spouse paying a pit-bull lawyer to spar in court, they and their attorneys agree to work out an amicable divorce that both sides can be happy with. Along the way, they receive guidance from a neutral mental-health professional and financial adviser.

Source: http://www.goerie.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090625/LIFESTYLES21/306259986/-1/LIFESTYLES08

Webwire

Joint custody is the best arrangement for children of divorce, according to the Journal of Family Psychology. Children in joint-custody cases have less behavioral and emotional problems, higher self-esteem, better family relations and better school performance than children in sole custody, says the study. “Children of divorce will do very well as long as both parents are able to cooperate in joint custody and stay involved in their lives,” says Tara Amaral, coauthor of the new book Our Great Kids.

Ultimately, joint custody is all about providing a stable, loving, supportive environment for the children. The parents’ needs are really secondary. The point is to provide children the opportunity to spend more time and establish good relationships with their parents after a separation or divorce.

Source: http://www.webwire.com/ViewPressRel.asp?aId=97801

Henry Pierson Curtis

Orlando Sentinel

KISSIMMEE — Marriage and divorce follow standard patterns across the United States, except for the case of Ditzel v. Bowser. The bridegroom swears he never got married. The bride says he just didn't want to attend the ceremony. So on May 24, 2008, the wedding of Matthew J. Ditzel to Heather M. Bowser went on without him.

A marriage license states they became husband and wife on the Kissimmee lakefront. Yet that didn't happen. One of the bride's co-workers, a notary public, illegally signed and stamped the document. A year later, lawyers argue over the wreckage of love. The groom's request for an immediate annulment was denied by Circuit Judge Jeffrey M. Fleming.

Source: http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/orl-locmarried-and-did-not-know-062062309jun23,0,1206023.story

Donna Cheswick

Examiner.com

A marriage ends once the divorce decree is finalized; however complications involving joint credit card debt can live on long after the divorce is over.   Many times one spouse will be assigned all or a portion of the marital debt as stipulated in the divorce decree.   However, credit card companies could care less what you and your former spouse agreed to in court. They see the credit as a legal obligation of both parties and will therefore enforce the debt obligation for either owner on the account regardless of marital status. So if your ex fails to make monthly payments or files for bankruptcy your creditors can, and will, go after you for the full amount of the debt, plus interest and penalties.

Even if there is wording in your divorce agreement that requires your ex-spouse to pay these debts, you will have to go back to court to get this enforced. Not only can this be time consuming and costly, but in the meantime the debt load, payments and default or referral to a collection agency will negatively impact the credit report of both account holders.

Source: http://www.examiner.com/x-5420-Pittsburgh-Divorce-Financial-Planning-Examiner~y2009m6d22-Complications-with-joint-credit-card-debt-after-divorce

Cassandra Spratling

Deseret News

As soon as 5-year-old Nate sees the two girls hop from their father's car, he starts squealing. He dashes through the empty house as Shayla, 12, tears off after him, tackling him with hugs of affection. While they play, Simone, 17, examines the room that will soon be hers. The girls' father, Tom Staley, and Nate's mother, Jakey Hoffman, have been working on the Rochester Hills, Mich., home since purchasing it earlier this month. The couple plan to marry in August, officially joining the ranks of more than 12.2 million blended American families.

"Blended families are the norm now," says Jeannette Lofas, founder of the Stepfamily Foundation in New York. "The majority of American families are in some form of step arrangement." For every 100 marriages, 46 involve a remarriage for one or both partners, according to the Council on Contemporary Families. Of the remarriages, 24 are a remarriage for both people. About 65 percent of remarriages involve children under 19.

Source: http://www.deseretnews.com/article/705311985/Blended-families-can-overcome-daunting-odds.html

JOHN LATIMER

Lebanon Daily News

Like many fathers, Dan Giffin has been looking forward to enjoying a relaxing Father’s Day today — in his case, spending it at his Palmyra home playing with his 4-year-old son, Alex. To Giffin’s delight, the pair are spending a lot more time together now that he has a joint-custody arrangement with the boy’s mother, who lives in Lancaster County. She refused to comment for this article and asked that her name not be included.

The custody agreement gives Alex to each of his parents on an every-other-week basis. It took three years of court hearings and cost both of them tens of thousands of dollars in legal bills to achieve the arrangement, said Giffin, a 32-year-old telecommunications technician. Before the equal split, Giffin explained, he saw his son about 10 days a month. That was an improvement from the start of their separation in 2006, he said, when he was limited by a court order to seeing him three weekends a month.

Source: http://www.ldnews.com/news/ci_12657098

Dana Browne

Examiner.com

Being that it is Father's Day, it would be significant to reflect and acknowledge the single dad.  For he, just as it would be with a single mother, has a great deal to manage when raising a child. Father's Day is a day to celebrate dads who have contributed love, commitment, strength and protection to help make us who we are today.

According to the US Census Bureau in 2008 there were 1.8 million  single fathers living with their children in the US.  Among these fathers; 51% were divorced, 25% were never married, 19% were separated and 5% were widowed. A single father bringing up children by himself whether be it by any of these circumstances, deserves to be honored on this day for not only embodying the roles that a father portays, but also for picking up the socially accepted “Mother roles” in raising childen soley.

Source: http://www.examiner.com/x-13499-Providence-Single-Parenting-Examiner~y2009m6d20-Fathers-day-for-the-single-dad

Tom Mooney

The Providence Journal

The Rhode Island Supreme Court on Friday overturned rulings by the Family Court that had allowed a divorced woman and her two children to remain in Rhode Island for almost seven years despite an order from a North Carolina judge that they return to that state, where the children’s father lived.

The high court gave Jessica Beauregard 30 days to either comply with the North Carolina ruling of 2002 and return with the children –– now almost 12 and 10 years of age –– or seek to have that order lifted. In concluding the Family Court erred, the high court deplored the case’s being allowed to languish “in a judicial morass for many years,” particularly when the jurisdiction of the Rhode Island Family Court was being challenged.

Source:  http://www.projo.com/news/content/supreme_court_decision_06-20-09_SREPK33_v13.36d5815.html

Betsy Hart

The Daily News Tribune

In a few days, I'll mark the fifth anniversary of the afternoon I watched my husband finally walk out of our family life after 17 years of marriage. This time, he wouldn't return to it. The kids were 10, 8, 5 and 3 when he left. So many folks over the years, both men and women, have shared their own similar stories of heartbreak with me. I suppose I could fill a book on the things I've learned from all this about life and people and being single with four kids.

Most importantly, from my point of view, is how my - and, to me, amazing - children have done with it all. I can't write their story yet. But I can tell a little piece of my own, in case it's helpful to anyone else.

Source: http://www.dailynewstribune.com/opinion/x1637474674/Hart-Lessons-learned-as-a-child-ease-pain-of-divorce

Courtney Potts

The Observer Dispatch

Tom Jalowiec may not always know where his children are, but he definitely knows where they're supposed to be - it's all spelled out in a court order. An ongoing custody battle with his estranged wife has cost both sides thousands in legal fees and resulted in a visitation schedule so detailed it includes alternating holiday arrangements for odd and even years.

Jalowiec, who lives in Sauquoit, is just one of thousands of fathers nationwide who are advocating for a change in how family courts award custody, especially after a divorce. They and their supporters say the current legal system is biased against fathers and that new laws could eliminate the creation of an unnecessarily adversarial relationship between parents.

Source: http://www.uticaod.com/homepage/x1686363575/Fathers-vow-fight-for-custody-rights

PRWeb

A new study commissioned by Wakefield on behalf of the New York Association of Collaborative Professionals reveals one in five Americans, as in 48 million, know someone who got so caught up in 'winning' a divorce that their family, work or social life suffered.

The independent poll of 1,000 Americans also exposed demographic differences concerning what is often referred to as a "nasty" divorce: