The Olympian

News of divorce often generates comments about whether the break-up was in the cards before the vows were finished. But is it possible to predict divorce? Maybe.

There are some common denominators when it comes to divorce, according to research tabulated by the National Marriage Project, in its report The State of Our Unions. Some of the personal and social factors that may affect the potential for divorce are: Having an income lower than $25,000; having a child before marriage; coming from a divorced family; having no religious affiliation; and having no college education.

Source:http://www.theolympian.com/nationworld/story/572746.html

Jason Alderman
East Texas Weekly

Divorce is often referred to as the No. 2 most stressful life event, second only to death of a spouse. And no wonder: Besides its obvious emotional impacts, getting divorced can also be a financial nightmare as you’re forced to deal with nagging details like separating your finances, acquiring your own health insurance and deciding who will claim the kids as tax deductions.

Here are some of the many financial issues to consider when you separate – and to keep in mind even if your marriage is on stable ground: Get good advice. Even couples who part amicably should have capable representation. That means not only hiring a good attorney but often, a financial planner as well. Especially after a long marriage, you’ll need objective advice about how to fairly divide property whose value has escalated, calculate child support, ensure you have sufficient health, life and property insurance, understand Social Security and retirement plan implications and more.

Source: http://www.easttexasreview.com/story.htm?StoryID=5717

New York Daily News

When a married couple who own a home decides to part ways, division of the residence and its equity can become one of the most contentious issues among those to be negotiated.

Often, spouses are able reach an agreement on how to divide their property equitably – ultimately saving time, curbing excessive attorney fees and avoiding the pain that comes with a drawn out legal proceeding. But if both parties cannot reach a peaceful arrangement, the court will ultimately decide how the property will be divided, say the experts.

Source: http://www.nydailynews.com/money/2008/09/02/2008-09-02_dividing_up_real_estate_during_a_divorce.html

PAMELA YIP
The Dallas Morning News

There are very few life occurrences that don't have some sort of connection to money.

Almost every stage and event in your personal life will require you to reassess your financial situation."Financial planning is essentially an exercise in planning your future, so when something changes with your current situation that will lead to a change in your future, it's time to review your financial plan," said Lance Alston, certified financial planner and president at JWA Financial Group Inc. in Dallas. In all life events, whether they're expected or unexpected, try not to make emotional decisions when it comes to finances.

Source: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/bus/stories/090108dnbusperfi.41c3048.html

Janet Kidd Stewart
South Florida Sun Sentinel

You wrote in a column that there is a one-time reprieve from early withdrawal penalties if you cash out. I am recently divorced and my ex has his 401(k) account with about $3,000 that is mine. He tells me he can write a check, but I have to pay all the fees. How does this play into what you said about this one-time reprieve?

Divorcing couples can split retirement accounts and even cash them out penalty-free as part of a settlement, but it has to be executed properly, and this is what many couples fail to do, divorce planners said.

Source: http://www.sun-sentinel.com/business/sfl-flzretireqa0901sbsep01,0,7978419.story

The Olympian

Your divorce has made you doubt yourself and your ability to trust others. You can't move forward without learning to trust again. Here's what you can do.

1. Reflect on your past. You need to understand your role in the break-up of your marriage. It isn't to blame yourself but to help you understand.

Source: http://www.theolympian.com/nationworld/story/563969.html

Colleen McCarty
Las Vegas Now

Tough economic times are stressing families. In some cases -- to the brink of violence and beyond. Local domestic violence advocates say the number of victims in need of services is rising dramatically.

Many victims who leave do so with few if any financial resources. Beyond the basic necessities, rebuilding often requires at least one go-round with the legal system. And the valley's largest Legal Aid Clinic said it has never had so many clients.

Source: http://www.lasvegasnow.com/Global/story.asp?S=8912166

Cynthia M. Fox
West County Journal

Last week's column reported the comments of Monsignor John Shamleffer, judicial vicar of the St. Louis Catholic Archdiocese, regarding divorce. He said, "Divorce is not, in itself, morally wrong in the eyes of the Catholic Church".

A divorce ends the couple's contractual relationship relative to civil law, but in the eyes of his church, "has no capacity to alter the binding nature of the marital contract or covenant," he said. A divorced Catholic remains a member in good standing, but cannot remarry in the church while their spouse is alive until that first marriage is either annulled or dissolved by the Catholic Church.Although not a Catholic, I found my discussions with Monsignor Shamleffer about annulments and dissolutions within the Catholic Church both eye-opening and fascinating. Like many, I knew that a Catholic could apply to have his/her marriage annulled, which according to the Archdiocese's web site (www.archstl.org), means that the relationship was "not a binding marriage" in the way the Catholic Church understands marriage to be. However, I didn't know that the Catholic Church will actually dissolve some marriages rather than annul them.

Source: http://westcountyjournal.stltoday.com/articles/2008/08/26/opinions/sj2tn20080826-0827wcj-foxfamily.ii1.txt

Sharon Jayson
Lansing State Journal

A generation ago, unmarried couples who lived together were often derided for "shacking up" or "playing house." Studies in the 1980s supported those negative stereotypes, suggesting that cohabitation could doom a long-term relationship, substantially raising the risk of divorce.

While researchers say the overall divorce rate is higher among those who lived together before marriage, now they don't blame cohabitating. "There's been a sea change in societal, cultural and individual acceptance of cohabitation," says Pamela Smock, a sociologist at the Population Studies Center at the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor. "A lot of the earlier studies were relying on data that may have been gathered in the late '80s and mid-'90s. We're talking about a moving target. The evidence is a lot more mixed."

Source: http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080825/LIFE03/808250378

Todd D. Wolfrum
Times Bulletin

Actions for divorce are like any other civil suit wherein the rights and duties of parties are decided and judgment is rendered. That is, aside from the fact that at the end of the case, both sides are still really mad.

There are exceptions, but the general rule is that if a judge or magistrates decides the outcome of who gets custody of the kids and on what days, everyone feels cheated. Dissolutions, which are simply divorces where the parties agree how to divide everything prior to filing in court, are always preferable but often impossible in the emotionally charged time of separation.

Source: http://timesbulletin.com/main.asp?SectionID=2&SubSectionID=4&ArticleID=148194&TM=37212.97

Melanie Lefkowitz
Newsday

NEW YORK -- When California became the first state to allow couples to divorce without accusing each other of wrongdoing, many women's advocates thought it sounded like a good idea. Nearly 40 years later, however, some of them have changed their minds.

It's not the catchall approach to divorce that people thought it might be, and it's really dangerous for women and their children," said Rachel Allen, spokeswoman for the California chapter of the National Organization for Women. "It really has made things more complicated."

Source: http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2008/aug/25/no-fault-divorce-impact-arguable/

WILLIAM MORRIS
Marco Eagle

Q: My wife and I were previously divorced. We had a marital settlement agreement in our divorce case. We later remarried and are now getting divorced again. Is the settlement agreement from our first divorce still binding?

A: In 1995, the Florida Supreme Court addressed a situation similar to yours in the case of Cox versus Cox. In that case, the couple entered a property settlement agreement as part of their divorce, later remarried and then divorced again. The court held that reconciliation or remarriage terminates those provisions of a prior marital settlement agreement that have not yet been completed. Those terms are known as executory provisions. Provisions that have been completed, such as transferring of assets, re-titling property and payments made are not affected by reconciliation or remarriage.

Source: http://www.marconews.com/news/2008/aug/19/its-law-my-divorce-settlement-void-if-we-re-marrie/

BEKAH PORTER
Telegraph Herald

Roger Klosterman would change things if he could. "I am not sure we did a whole lot of things right," he said. He would alter his approach. "I have made plenty of mistakes in the things I have done or have not done," he said. And he would say "sorry." "There is always room to apologize," he said.

But the 55-year-old Dubuque man wouldn't change everything about his divorce. "My children and I have had a blessed life," he said. "It's not one that I would recommend for everybody to live, but I don't think that'd be different than if I'd never been divorced."

Source: http://www.thonline.com/article.cfm?id=212763

MITCHELL ROSEN
The Press-Enterprise

I speak with a lot of children who are struggling to maintain balance while their parents divorce. Having a mother or father leave the family home is a jolt through the world of a child.

It is as if the children are in a free fall and have no idea whether or not they will land safely. As adults, we must reassure them that even though a mom and dad may stop loving one another, the love and nurturance toward a child is never up for grabs.

Source: http://www.pe.com/family/stories/PE_News_Local_S_rosen17.2a2d667.html

Michelle Sherwood
KSPR News

It just got a little trickier to get a divorce in Missouri. That is, if you represent yourself. The state is seeing a growing number of people filing for divorce on their own. Legal Services experts in Springfield say it’s another side effect of the economy. However, the system to make things easier now makes it a little more complicated.

In the days of quickie marriages comes even quicker divorces, and many of us have known someone who's been through the latter. But you might as well forget about getting a divorce online. Those days may be coming to an end in Missouri. That’s because there are forms out there that are being sold that don’t even comply with Missouri courts. And courts are not taking them.

Source: http://www.kspr.com/news/local/26968619.html

Cynthia Fox
Kirkwood-Webster Journal

As regular readers would likely infer, much of my law practice involves representing clients in a divorce. However, I am occasionally asked to assist someone to obtain a "legal separation," which although it "looks like, walks like, talks like" a divorce, isn't one because the individuals remain married to each other, unable to marry anyone else.

Through a legal separation, the court resolves all the same issues addressed in a divorce - dividing the property, entering orders of child and spousal support, establishing child custody and a parenting plan - yet does not dissolve the marriage. Interestingly, the couple is not required to live apart, although continued cohabitation is not something I've encountered.

Source: http://kirkwoodwebsterjournal.stltoday.com/articles/2008/08/13/opinions/doc48a20c24e1e9e950898982.txt

KSPR News

George Stahnke, “We were called into the living room of the house and mom was on one side and dad was over on the other… my sister and I were on the floor… and they told us that they were going to get divorced, and asked us so, who would you like to live with?” That’s the kind of memory that leaves a life-long scar. It happened decades ago, but George still remembers it like it was yesterday. George says, “I was just shocked, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.”

Some experts say that kids are resilient, that they’ll adjust. And they can. But long-term research shows that divorce continues to negatively impact kids many years after the fact.

Source: http://www.kspr.com/features/focusonthefamily/26828509.html

Ann Gries
Evansville Courier

I am worried about having a good marriage if I ever decide to marry. My parents divorced, and I have struggled to trust others in any kind of relationship. I still have feelings of anger toward my parents for breaking up our family. I do not want to do that to any future family I might have. How can I get past these feelings so I can even consider marriage?

Please accept my sympathy on the breakdown of your family. You still may be grieving from what you have lost through your parents' divorce. You do not need to continue the legacy of divorce. You can reprogram your thinking and concentrate on the positive aspects of marriage rather than your negative feelings. You need to seek positive role models for marriage.

Source: http://www.courierpress.com/news/2008/aug/11/preparation-can-break-cycle-of-divorce/

ANITA CHOUDHARY
The Olympian

Cohabitation, or living together without the bonds of marriage, has become a common element in today's society. According to the U.S. Bureau of the Census, 5.5 million couples were cohabiting in 2005, compared to 500,000 in 1960s - a change of nearly 1,000 percent. And while the ratio of cohabitation before marriage is high, living-in arrangements after a divorce are gaining popularity by the day.

The annual report "The State of Our Unions 2005," published under the National Marriage Project of Rutgers University, has found that most of the couples who were once divorced are not marrying at all. But, like divorce, when a relationship ends after cohabitation, there are emotional, social and financial aspects that need to be taken care of. And so the question arises: Is cohabitation after divorce better?

Source: http://www.theolympian.com/nationworld/story/534616.html

Rebecca Warren
East Valley Tribune

After a divorce or the sudden death of a spouse, single parents have the twin challenges of adjusting to a new life and getting their child adjusted to it as well. The third challenge, getting money issues in order, can be a threat to both. For a newly divorced or newly widowed parent, the right tax, estate and financial planning advice are crucial. Here are some general steps the newly single should take:

Revise or make an estate plan. A will is essential, but it's also important to make immediate plans for who will raise the children if something happens to the parent. In case of divorce, plans might have been set for the ex-spouse to take full-time custody in case of the other's death, but if a parent has never been married, it's particularly important to select the right custodian for the child and perhaps a separate person who can become custodian of the child's finances to invest properly for their support and their future.

Source: http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/story/122407

DERRICK KINNEY
Fort Worth Business Press

So you’re getting married. In addition to planning your wedding, your preparations should include planning how your finances will blend in your new joint household. Since money is a frequent sore spot for couples, you can get your union off to a stronger start with a proactive approach to merging your finances.

Start by laying your cards on the table before the vows are exchanged. There should be no surprises about lingering debt or unpaid child support after the nuptials have occurred. Current and future obligations, earnings, savings and also personal spending habits are all fair game for this heart-to-heart talk.

Source: http://www.fwbusinesspress.com/display.php?id=8127

Catherine Pritchard
The Fayetteville Observer

Q: I’m getting a divorce in October and was wondering if I can keep my military ID card afterwards. My husband served 21 years and I was married to him for 17 of those years, plus many years afterwards. Can you give me any information on this? If I do lose my PX and commissary privileges, will I also lose my medical or can I pay a certain fee to keep it?

A: Unfortunately, if all is as you describe, you’ll lose your PX and commissary privileges. But if you don’t remarry and don’t enroll in an employer-sponsored health insurance plan, you’ll be entitled to full military medical benefits for a year after your divorce. After that, you may buy a Department of Defense-negotiated conversion health policy.

Source: http://www.fayobserver.com/article?id=300890

Jenny Andreasson
The Voice

Mike Weller refuses to be reduced to a "weekend dad" after his divorce, and a recent change in the law is likely to bolster his push to get equal custody of his sons.

A bill approved May 28 by Gov. Charlie Crist evens out the parental playing field, which has traditionally handed mothers primary custody in a divorce, leaving fathers with little say. "Every other weekend — that's how often you see a friend," said Weller, a Winter Springs business owner whose wife filed for divorce July 7. "When the law is dictating that one parent is better than the other, the kids see that."

Source: http://seminolevoice.com/Seminole_Voice/article.asp?ID=765

MSN Money

Divorce affects the finances of each former spouse. In many cases, both parties will have to make lifestyle changes; in some, those changes will be dramatic. If you are a divorced spouse who must deal with a lower standard of living, rebuilding your financial life is important. Here are some steps that can help:

Much of the financial information regarding your expenses, child-care needs, your income and other assets was collected for use during the divorce process. Look at those costs, factor in any child and spousal support, and adjust accordingly to reflect your single status. Don't forget your health-care and insurance costs, and those of your children if they are not covered under the noncustodial parent's policy.

Source: http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/SuddenlySingle/PostDivorceFinancesAPrimer.aspx

Marcie Fraser
News 10 Now

If you're a parent trying to co-parent the kids with your ex, it can be very difficult. What's best for them? What do you do? What do you decide on? The better the parents get along, the better the children do.

"The success of the divorce is based on in many ways what happens after the divorce. How well parents negotiate co-parenting after they have separated," said psychologist Dr. Gerald Berger.

Source: http://news10now.com/content/health/120971/co-parenting-can-be-tough-after-divorce/Default.aspx

SHARON JAYSON
ABC News

A generation ago, unmarried couples who lived together were often derided for "shacking up" or "playing house." Studies in the 1980s supported those negative stereotypes, suggesting that cohabitation could doom a long-term relationship, substantially raising the risk of divorce.

While researchers say the overall divorce rate is higher among those who lived together before marriage, now they don't blame cohabitating.

Source: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=5472617&page=1

David Crary
TheDay.com

Fort Campbell, Ky. - Far from the combat zones, the strains and separations of no-end-in-sight wars are having an ever-growing impact on military families despite the armed services' earnest efforts to help. Divorce lawyers see it in the breakup of youthful marriages as long, multiple deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan fuel alienation and mistrust. Domestic violence experts see it in the scuffles that often precede a soldier's departure or sour a briefly joyous homecoming.

Teresa Moss, a counselor at Fort Campbell's Lincoln Elementary School, hears it in the voices of deployed soldiers' children as they meet in groups to share accounts of nightmares, bedwetting and heartache.

Source: http://www.theday.com/re.aspx?re=4aeecf13-765d-482e-a4df-ca7fbdec1452

KELLY GREENE
The Wall Street Journal

Could you discuss Social Security benefits for divorced couples? For example, can a divorced spouse who has never worked claim Social Security benefits based on the record of the spouse who has worked the requisite time? What happens if the "working" spouse remarries? Can his new spouse, who also has never worked, also claim Social Security benefits?

A divorced spouse can collect a Social Security retirement benefit based on the work record of an ex-husband (or ex-wife), and it won't affect the latter's retirement benefit -- or the benefit of that person's current spouse, if he or she has remarried. In fact, the Social Security Administration won't even notify a person if an ex-spouse collects a retirement benefit based on that person's earnings record.

Source: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121703294651386637.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

Marshall Loeb
TheSouthern.com

If you're planning to file for divorce this year or are already splitting your assets with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, your credit is likely to take a hit.

Many people don't realize that lenders do not honor court decrees that assign payment responsibilities for joint loans. The mistaken assumption that you're off the hook for financial obligations can result in a series of missed payments that may trash your credit score for years.

Source: http://www.southernillinoisan.com/articles/2008/07/24/lifestyles/money/23080612.txt

BLACK PR WIRE

Divorce can be particularly difficult for children whose parents announce suddenly that they are to split and in this nation of soaring divorce rates it’s no wonder that that topic is so widely discussed. Too often it seems, parents caught up in their own emotions, sense of loss or frustration, use their children as bargaining chips in a game of who is right or wrong; mom or dad. Children’s need should be put first however when going through such times to ensure that the child or children of a family going through transition realize that they are loved and that the divorce has nothing to do with anything they said or did.

July is National Child-Centered Divorce Month and will witness professionals from various fields coming together to share important parenting messages to help parents put their kid’s needs first when making decisions related to divorce or separation. Therapists, educators, attorneys, the clergy and even coaches will participate in this summer’s initiative, the second annual of its kind.

Source: http://blackprwire.com/press-releases/1516-bprw_childcentered_divorce_focuses_on_kids_needs

MSN Money

When your marriage breaks up, the last thing you feel like doing is crunching numbers. You're hurt, perhaps angry, and possibly overwhelmed with anxiety, fear and despair. You're focused on the past and present, not the future.

But as many divorced couples learn the hard way, this is precisely the time you need to get a grip and pay close attention to your assets and your financial future, lest both slip away in the flood of emotion.

Source: http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/SuddenlySingle/10stepsToAMoneySmartDivorce.aspx