ON ReMARRIAGE: Blending families alters birth orders

Paula Bisacre

The Washington Times

Some stepfamily experts say it takes seven years for a stepfamily to blend. As I approach my seven-year anniversary, I have to agree.  I've had plenty of time to think about something as obvious as the change in our children's birth order and its effects, yet the thought that my oldest son had become a middle child smacked me in the face one recent night, and it really stung. I lamented that my oldest child had gotten lost in the shuffle and my stepson, who had gone from being the youngest to being in the middle, had gotten misplaced in the deck, too.

With my intelligence analysis roots driving me once again, I had to find out more about how remarried parents can help their children through the effects of changing birth orders. There certainly is no lack of resources on birth order, or as psychologist Kevin Leman puts it in "The New Birth Order Book," "the science of understanding your place in the family line." I thought I had been sensitive to the fact that my son would no longer be the first in the family to experience great events, such as proms and graduations. The spotlight would no longer shine first on him like it did when he had crawled, walked or got on his first school bus. And my stepson, who had always had the attention that often comes with being the youngest, would no longer be the child for whom there would be an emotional final graduation party.

Source: http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/nov/08/remarriage-blending-families-alters-birth-orders/