Daily Stories on Divorce & Family Law

Gregory Keer
Modern Mom

By the early ‘80s, when I was in high school, divorce was so prevalent in my community that I’d ask new acquaintances, “Which parent do you live with?” The first great American wave of divorce that began in the ‘70s has now become as common as a high tide. A recent statistic shows that, in the U.S., 43% of first marriages end within 15 years. And, according to a 1998 University of Chicago national survey, nuclear family -- a married couple with children – makes up only 26 percent of households, down from 45 percent in 1972.

Many of my contemporaries truly did not know what a good marriage was, though a bunch of us benefited from seeing good second marriages (showing that some parents learned from their mistakes). We witnessed such a potent whirlpool of discord in our homes, it often seemed were living one of the painful divorce movies of our era. We saw emotional coldness (remember Ordinary People?) to household-object throwing (The War of the Roses) and lost love (Kramer vs. Kramer) to selfishness (check out the rather bad but oddly true Irreconcilable Differences) – that a lot of us had a hard time getting married for the first time.

Source: http://www.modernmom.com/content/1774

Jim May
MyWestTexas.Com

DEAR FAMILY: I have recently filed for divorce. My husband just came home one day and said he "didn't want to live like this anymore" and wanted out. I was shocked but got myself together and begged him to go to counseling. We went but he didn't do anything the counselor suggested. It was obvious to the counselor and me that he wasn't interested in the marriage. I will have to say that he's been a lot nicer since then and has been generous in the property settlement. I shouldn't have to get to work for awhile so I can help my girls adjust.

I think that I am doing OK for now but my oldest daughter isn't doing very well. Since we told them, our daughter (12) has been awful. She's been angry and mean and hateful to me and her sister. I am thankful that school is just about over because I've had two of her teachers call about her attitude in their classes, but I'm worried about what this summer is going to be like with her so angry. Is this normal? What can I do to help her? She barely will even talk to me except to be insulting so I admit I'm avoiding her right now. My 9-year-old seems to be doing much better with it all. She and I were always closer so we talk more.

Source: http://www.mywesttexas.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=14609181&BRD=2288&PAG=461&dept_id=475591&rfi=6

Jennifer L. Boen
The News-Sentinel

A 20-year-old, home-grown family enrichment program is going nationwide.

Because Right Relations Inc., the brainchild of former drug and alcohol counselor Jeanne Shoup, began receiving more and more attention from judges, attorneys and family advocates in other parts of the state, the decision was made to franchise the program. No details were available Friday other than an agreement had been reached with a franchising company, said Risha McLellan, outreach coordinator.

Source: http://www.fortwayne.com/mld/newssentinel/11763967.htm

Jackie Ladd
AsianWeek.com

Korean Churches for Community Development (KCCD) is organizing the 1st National Korean/Asian American Marriage Day to be held June 5 in Los Angeles.

Grappling with increasing divorce rates, domestic violence and juvenile delinquency, KCCD’s Asian Pacific American Healthy Marriage Network Initiative aims to dispel the notion that Asians aren’t afflicted by familial or marital problems.

Source: http://news.asianweek.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=aa520539cfce78b8736618813a1d6aca&this_category_id=169

RHETA GRIMSLEY JOHNSON
The Sun Herald

I am better at coming up with titles for books than I am at actually writing them. The last title I wrote was this:

"Divorce Etiquette, Southern-Style: How to Act When Mama and Them Are No Longer Mama and Them."

Source: http://www.sunherald.com/mld/thesunherald/news/editorial/11759964.htm

Wendy McElroy
IntellectualConservative.com

In a case that threatens to impact the reproductive options available to infertile couples, Ivonne V. Ferguson has filed for child support against sperm donor Joel McKiernan.

The Pennsylvania Supreme Court is currently considering a legal appeal that could set wide-reaching precedent for both child support policy and fertility clinics in the United States. As one report states, "sperm donors who thought they were getting $50 for their genetic material" -- a standard clinic fee -- and nothing more may be in for a real shock.

Source: http://www.intellectualconservative.com/article4360.html

MEMA AYI
NWITimes.Com

CHICAGO HEIGHTS | Two years ago, Carla LeVeaux was a newlywed suffering through a difficult pregnancy.

Just weeks short of their first anniversary, LeVeaux's husband decided he wasn't quite ready for marriage, packed up a moving van and left.

Source: http://www.thetimesonline.com/articles/2005/05/27/news/illiana/05e284d54de600d08625700e0002c910.txt

Aidan Seale-Feldman
Verde Magazine

When senior Trevor Bisset crosses the stage to receive his diploma this July, his parents will sit separately, but still be joined in the love they share for their son. Divorce, now almost as common as a successful marriage, has not only changed Bisset's family, but changed the face of America.

Most Americans know divorced families and have friends who live in divorced households; this fact is not surprising considering that today about 50% of American marriages end in divorce, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.

Source: http://voice.paly.net/view_story.php?id=3061

UC Davis

Divorce and marriage play much bigger economic roles for black children than white children in the United States, according to a new study by two UC Davis economists.

Marianne Page and Ann Huff Stevens find that in the first two years following a divorce, family income among white children falls about 30 percent, while it falls by 53 percent among black children.

Source: http://www-pubcomm.ucdavis.edu/search/news_detail.lasso?id=7376

Ralph Smith
FedSmith.Com

Many people think that a marriage that has lasted many years is bound to continue--even into retirement.

That apparently is not true. A marriage that may have survived the ups and downs of a spouse working 25 or more years in the federal government, may not survive when two people are suddenly around each other all the time. And, when a retired federal employee ends up getting a divorce, the final separation may not be quick or easy.

Source: http://www.fedsmith.com/articles/articles.showarticle.db.php?intArticleID=590

Kevin Corcoran
Indianapolis Star

An Indianapolis father is appealing a Marion County judge's unusual order that prohibits him and his ex-wife from exposing their child to "non-mainstream religious beliefs and rituals."

The parents practice Wicca, a contemporary pagan religion that emphasizes a balance in nature and reverence for the earth.

Source: http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050526/NEWS01/505260481

Mario Testani, M.D.
Rochester Democrat and Chronicle

When children are involved in situations of divorce or separation, it's necessary to make visitation and custody arrangements. Some parents, working alone or with a mediator, come to agreement on these arrangements. Sometimes, however, disputes end up in court. In these cases, a psychiatric evaluation may help decide matters.

Why it's needed: The guiding principle of most courts, including in New York state, is serving the best interests of the child — although the term "the least detrimental alternative" is preferred now, because divorce itself is not in a child's best interests. And when children are caught in a tug of war between their parents, compromises are made that often are not in the children's best interests.

Source: http://www.democratandchronicle.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050526/LIVING/505260334/1032

The Mayo Clinic
Mayo Clinic.Com

More than a million children a year experience their parents' divorce. It's a stressful time for the entire family, full of changes for everyone involved. Children are creatures of habit and routine, so divorce often turns their world upside down.

The good news is that you can make your child's adjustment to these changes much easier, simply by the way you choose to interact with your spouse.

Source: http://www.mayoclinic.com/invoke.cfm?objectid=D1AC4CD4-A5BB-4468-8E9B596E4DC092EA

Cheryl Wetzstein
THE WASHINGTON TIMES

What's love got to do with the erosion of marriage in the Western world? Everything, says historian Stephanie Coontz.

Over the decades, marriage shifted from strict, family arranged, economic or political unions to "love matches" in which spouses choose each other based on personal affection and companionship, Mrs. Coontz says in her new book, "Marriage, A History: From Obedience to Intimacy or How Love Conquered Marriage."

Source: http://washingtontimes.com/culture/20050524-112019-1613r.htm

Judith Verderese
The Sun News

With all the attention that has been given by the media on domestic violence to women, I had to express some opinions.

I was a battered and abused child, and then wife for 23 years. There was no help available, and everything was kept a secret. When they passed the domestic violence laws and the people were informed, I was really relieved and grateful that there was help for women.

Source: http://www.myrtlebeachonline.com/mld/sunnews/news/opinion/11731412.htm

Eleanor Bashkoff
Sun-Sentinel

Re Thursday's editorial with the "Issue: Living together could be grounds to automatically end alimony": Whoever authored this piece of misguided analysis needs to understand some basic fundamentals on divorce in our society today.

In the last 25 years, women have made remarkable inroads in their quest for equality within the realm of choices available to them in both their professional and personal existence. Unfortunately, too many of them have corrupted this intended objective by overlooking the responsibilities associated with the opportunities most women could only aspire to in the past when outright gender discrimination prevailed.

Source: http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/opinion/letters/sfl-pbmail704may25,0,1455944.story?coll=sfla-news-letters

JANN BLACKSTONE-FORD AND SHARYL JUPE
Knight Ridder Newspapers

Q: Last Sunday I was at the beach with my new girlfriend, Janet. I wasn't expecting it, but out of the corner of my eye I saw my ex was having lunch with our daughter, Melissa, at a hot dog stand. We have joint custody of Melissa and we see each other all the time. Janet has met my daughter, but she has never met my ex. My daughter saw me and immediately screamed, "Mommy! There's Daddy and Janet!" I was extremely embarrassed. It wasn't how I envisioned their meeting each other. What is the proper ex-etiquette in a case like this?

A: Good ex-etiquette is founded on a code of behavior based on consideration, kindness and unselfishness. The criterion on which we base whether it's good or bad ex-etiquette is how the behavior affects our children. So, in order to set a good example for Melissa and not embarrass anyone else, you simply greet your daughter as you normally would and then introduce your ex to Janet, trying to act as calm as you possibly can.

Source: http://www.fortwayne.com/mld/newssentinel/living/11724504.htm

TANYA BARRIENTOS
Knight Ridder Newspapers

Ask any bride-to-be about her big day and the conversation could last for hours. Tap into a groom's pre-wedding jitters and he may yap all night. But pose a simple question about prenuptial agreements and you're likely to be answered with stone-cold silence.

Lawyers, wedding planners and marriage counselors say prenuptial agreements aren't just for the Donald Trumps and Catherine Zeta-Joneses of the world anymore. They're becoming increasingly common among common folks.

Source: http://www.fortwayne.com/mld/newssentinel/living/11726665.htm

MARILYN GARDNER
ABC News

May 23, 2005 — Everything looked promising for Lauren Laughead and her boyfriend when they moved from Boston to Dallas in 2002 for his job. They had been living together for nearly four years and were planning to marry. They even bought a townhouse in Dallas.

But their dreams were derailed two years later when her boyfriend ended the relationship. "Since the property was in his name, and he was at fault for the breakup, I just moved out," says Laughead, who handles advertising for a law firm. "I paid off my part of the credit card and left it at that. I had helped pay part of the mortgage for a year. I lost that money. He's got equity."

Source: http://abcnews.go.com/Business/CSM/story?id=766227&page=1

Rita Brhel
Press & Dakotan

For most people driving through Yankton, the Family Visitation Center is nothing more than a green house sitting near the intersection of Fourth and Cedar streets.

But for 30 families each month, the center is a haven.

Source: http://www.yankton.net/stories/052405/community_20050524025.shtml