Daily Stories on Divorce & Family Law

Dell Deaton

AnnArbor.com

Without a doubt, there can indeed be healing benefits in unburdening ourselves to others. Disclosures range from brand-name sins laid out in the Ten Commandments, to what we might like to tell ourselves are trivial, greyer areas of shortcoming. But indiscretion in the who and the where we tell are now met with ever-increasing consequences when it comes to matters of the heart. A recent feature on Salon.com titled, “The Facebook divorce,” reminds us that postings to your social media outlet of choice will have a reach much further than the Friends you’ve chosen. That can cost you money — and even parenting time.

Information shared by individuals in small group settings associated with divorce recovery workshops is arguably only heard by very few people. Yet I’ve consistently been told by family practice lawyers that no legal right of confidentiality or privilege attaches to these situations, notwithstanding the churches in which the participants meet. I personally emphasize this potential exposure to all gatherings with which I become involved.

Source: http://www.annarbor.com/faith/social-media-can-cost-you-more-than-facebook-friends-in-divorce/

Hometownlife.com

Q: After nearly 30 years of marriage, my wife and I divorced. It was a very messy divorce and, to my disappointment, my two adult children took the side of my ex-wife. After much deliberation, I've decided to disinherit them from my will. How do I go about doing it? I have an existing will and at the same time I have a software program that does wills that I would like to use. Can you help?

Curt Brown

South Coast Today

A national economic recession, which has caused unemployment to soar to 12.4 percent regionally, is showing its face in the daily business of Bristol County Probate and Family Court's courthouses in New Bedford and Fall River. While fewer couples are filing for divorce, court officials and local lawyers said they are seeing an increase in requests for reductions in their support payments from people who have lost their jobs or had their hours cut.

Gina L. DeRossi, register-magistrate of Bristol County Probate and Family Court, reported an 18.1 percent increase in the number of people seeking what the court calls modifications, or changes, in the child support payments of their divorce or paternity agreements. The number rose from 2,200 in fiscal 2008 to 2,599 in the following year, according to court records.

Source: http://www.southcoasttoday.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20091011/NEWS/910110347/1018/OPINION

Bob Kerr

The Providence Journal

It was one of those mad, cruel moments from the divorce wars, where people get competitive over a kid’s happiness. In this case, a father who couldn’t attend his daughter’s birthday party because of a restraining order hired a person in a Mickey Mouse suit to go instead. It was his way of being part of the day without actually being there. It didn’t work. The fun Mickey Mouse might have brought to the party was no match for a mother’s need to keep a father out of sight and out of mind.

There are lots of names for it — payback, revenge, getting even, sticking it to the ex. It might be the sickest part of divorce. It is the attempt to lay waste to the idea that divorced parents can both maintain strong relationships with their children. It is the attempt to poison kids’ minds. It gets vicious sometimes. And it’s always expensive. Lawyers and therapists do well with it. A considerable chunk of a family’s assets can go down the tubes because an angry parent would rather keep hauling the case into court than reach healthy resolution.

Source: http://www.projo.com/news/bobkerr/kerr_column_11_10-11-09_I2G1QN6_v13.32aab48.html

AL LAWRENCE

Mansfield News Journal

A local baby whose father is deployed in the Pacific with the U.S. Navy is still living with her paternal grandmother.  A preliminary hearing took place Thursday to decide temporary custody for the 7-month-old. A full hearing will begin today after Richland County Children Services took up a judge's challenge to look closer at the custody case.

Custody became a thorny issue shortly after Aug. 28, when Petty Officer Phillip A. Croghan, 28, filed for divorce from the infant's mother, Porsha Lenee Schaub, 21, of Mansfield. Croghan asked the court to allow his mother, who lives in Akron to take custody of the baby because of his military assignment. Croghan is on a 90-day deployment to Japan, the Philippines and Korea with the USS Denver.

Source: http://www.mansfieldnewsjournal.com/article/20091009/NEWS01/910090328/1002

Amy Wang

OregonLive.com

Recently a mom I know announced that she was about to get a divorce. As she talked more about it, she mentioned that she and her husband hadn't yet told their kids, a kindergartner and a preschooler.  How do you tell your child you're getting a divorce? Mari Kresge Alexander, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Northwest Portland, offered some tips.

"The most important thing is to realize that most kids want their parents to stay together, even if their parents have been arguing and there's been a lot of tension," Alexander said. "Kids really want an intact family. They'll be really sad and go through a lot of loss."

Source: http://blog.oregonlive.com/themombeat/2009/10/how_to_tell_your_child_youre_g.html 

WKOWTV.com

Retired Army decorated veteran Phillip Schladweiler of Beloit has a purple heart for heroism after being wounded during combat in Iraq in 2006.   But veterans officials told him Schladweiler's marriage is something he cannot hold onto. Schladweiler, 28, and his wife Lyandra Marotz were married in a ceremony in Grandby, Colorado in May 2009 during a retreat for war veterans.

But in correspondence dated Sept. 11, Department of Veteran Affairs manager C.C. Norton wrote Schladweiler his marriage was invalid because Marotz divorced her previous husband in Illinois on January 26, less than six months before her marriage to Schladweiler. Wisconsin law bars residents from marrying less than six months after a divorce.

Source: http://www.wkowtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=11276686#

Bruce Sallan

Salem-News.com

I recently learned some statistics that surprised me, but upon reflection they really made sense. What do you think the rate of divorce is between first, second, and third marriages? Think about it. I didn’t and came to the wrong conclusion. It’s pretty much agreed by most experts that first marriages end in divorce about 40-50% of the time. What surprised me is that the divorce rate increases with second marriages to something like 60% and more, while third marriages end in divorce at least 70% of the time.

My first gut reaction was that we would have learned from prior mistakes, we’d be wiser with the experience of living through a marriage and divorce, and maybe, just maybe, we may have learned something about our contributions to the break-up. And, therefore, we’d not repeat destructive behaviors. When I reflected on the challenges in my own house and applied some common sense, those statistics became more logical. The reality is that the older we get, the more we’ve experienced, the more we’re likely to be set in our ways, and the more stress that is likely to come our direction. By this I mean that with age often comes increased problems.

Source: http://www.salem-news.com/articles/october062009/working_marriage_bs_10-6-09.php#

Richard T. Bell & Associates, P.C.

24-7PressRelease

Determining questions of child custody can be one of the most difficult, contentious and expensive steps in the divorce process, even if the parties generally agree on an overall plan. A recent change in Texas law has removed what was often an obstacle to the timely settlement of many custody disputes. Although the full effects of the law remain to be seen, it appears likely to reduce the number of high-conflict child custody proceedings, thus alleviating some of the stress that families experience as a result of divorce.

High-conflict child custody proceedings often occur in cases in which there is little trust between parents, a high level of anger between spouses and a willingness to participate in prolonged litigation. Under these circumstances, it can be easy for parents to lose focus and become more concerned with fighting their soon-to-be ex-spouses than with doing what is right for their children. These proceedings not only waste judicial resources and cost parties unnecessary expense, but they also may cause children emotional, psychological and even physical harm.

Source: http://www.24-7pressrelease.com/press-release/change-in-texas-law-eases-strain-of-child-custody-proceedings-119231.php

LifeSiteNews.com

A Dallas judge ruled last Thursday to hear a "divorce" lawsuit between two men whose same-sex "marriage" was performed in Massachusetts, declaring the state marriage amendment and the state's Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional.

District Judge Tena Callahan issued her ruling in a state court in Dallas last week to strike down the Texas marriage amendment, as well as the state DOMA, stating that the state ban on same-sex "marriage" violates the federal constitutional right to equal protection under the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. This ruling marks the first time that a state court judge has struck down marriage laws based on the U. S. Constitution. The two men seeking the Texas "divorce" were "married" in Cambridge, Mass. in September 2006, and then returned to Dallas. This lawsuit to dissolve their partnership was filed in January.

Source: http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2009/oct/09100509.html

James Romoser

Winston-Salem Journal

RALEIGH - In courtrooms, it's called "alienation of affection" or "criminal conversation." In love, it's called cheating. Whatever you call it, the opportunity to sue over it just got narrower. A new state law, which went into effect last week, limits the circumstances in which a spouse's extramarital lover can be sued. Under the new law, if a married couple is separated, any extramarital affair that goes on during the period of separation is no longer grounds for a lawsuit. Critics of the change say that it removes a deterrent to adultery and weakens a long-established public policy meant to protect the sanctity of marriage.

Supporters say that the concept of "alienation of affection" is a relic of a time when women were considered the property of their husbands. Nowadays, these lawsuits are often used by one spouse to harass the other spouse through the court system or to try to gain leverage during a messy divorce.

Source: http://www2.journalnow.com/content/2009/oct/05/alienation-of-affection-law-changes/#

JEFFREY A. & ANDREW GROSSMAN

The Columbus Dispatch

Q: I have not heard from or about my biological father for more than 30 years. I recently discovered that he used false papers to obtain a new Social Security number, changed his name and remarried. I think he is living under his real name, which makes me wonder whether he has two Social Security numbers. Is his marriage to his current wife legal, if he was using a Social Security number obtained with false documents? Also, even though I am an adult, I want to know whether I can sue him for the pain he has caused me.

A: The fact that someone might have falsely obtained a new Social Security number does not directly affect the legality of that person's marriage. If your father duped his wife into marrying him (by, for example, pretending to be someone he is not), that might give her grounds to file to have the marriage annulled.

Source: http://dispatch.com/live/content/life/stories/2009/10/04/wholly.html?sid=101

Sammy Rose Saltzman

CBS News

Japanese officials say that the U.S.-recognized divorce between Christopher and Nokita Savoie does not apply in Japan, because it was never annulled in that country, according to CNN.  Christopher Savoie is currently in Japanese custody after grabbing his two children, who had been abducted to Japan by their mother against a U.S. court custody ruling, and trying to take them to the American Consulate.

It is unclear when and where Christopher and Noriko Savoie were married, and CBS affiliate WTVF is continuing to investigate court documents, but records indicate that the couple's divorce was finalized in January 2009 in Franklin, Tenn. Court records in Tennessee indicate the Savoies lived in Japan from 2001 to 2008, and that Savoie obtained Japanese citizenship.

Source: http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/10/01/crimesider/entry5356030.shtml#

Reuters

DALLAS (Reuters) - A judge in Dallas ruled on Thursday that the state court on which she sits has the jurisdiction to hear a divorce suit by a gay couple who were married outside Texas where same-sex marriages are banned. Dallas District Judge Tena Callahan said in the ruling that her court "has jurisdiction to hear a suit for divorce filed by persons legally married in another jurisdiction and who meet the residency and other prerequisites required to file for divorce in Dallas County, Texas."

Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott immediately said he would appeal the ruling in the latest battle over gay marriage in the United States. "The laws and constitution of the State of Texas define marriage as an institution involving one man and one woman. Today's ruling purports to strike down that constitutional definition," Abbott said in a statement. "The Office of the Attorney General will appeal the court's ruling to defend the traditional definition of marriage that was approved by Texas voters," he said.

Source: http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSTRE5910CG20091002

PRWeb

Parents who are waiting to divorce until the children are "grown" mistakenly wait until they leave for college. They don't realize that an unexpected announcement of divorce can seriously destabilize a college freshman.

According to Erica Manfred, author of He's History; You're Not: Surviving Divorce After Forty. College students have a name for it: "the freshman call." Parents wait until their child has finished high school and is off to college before getting a divorce, which they, or at least one of them, may have been planning for a long time. Their son or daughter is already going through the disorientation of being away from home for the first time, adjusting to being on his or her own, and hearing that her family is disintegrating can be profoundly disorienting.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/s/prweb/20090930/bs_prweb/prweb2940324_1

Laurel J. Sweet

Boston Herald

The state Appeals Court has refused to get involved in a mother’s efforts to force a Newton sperm bank to reveal the identity of her twin daughters’ father so she can sue him for child support. The woman, identified in court papers only as Jane Doe, was contesting Suffolk Probate and Family Court Judge John M. Smoot’s dismissal of her 2006 motion to compel the New England Cryogenic Center to out the young medical student who sold his sperm in the early 1990s with the agreement his identity be held “in strictest confidence.”

But in addition to money, the woman - an American artificially inseminated in a London, England, hospital on June 16, 2000 - argues she also needs the donor’s latest medical history because of ailments the appellate court says “she claims her daughters have developed.”

Source: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view/20090930appeals_court_denies_case_to_id_sperm_donor/srvc=home&position=4

ALICE GOMSTYN

ABC NEWS

He got their second house, an investment property she had bought in Costa Rica, and a $96,000 annual alimony payment. She got angry. "It's so obscene," said Holly Chiancola, 52, a Gloucester, Mass. real estate agent who is fighting the terms of a divorce settlement ordered by a judge in 2006.

You used to hear about divorced men complaining that their ex-wives were unfairly cutting into their income. Now, as more women become primary breadwinners, the complaints increasingly come from them. The number of American men receiving alimony has climbed, from 7,000 in 1998 to 13,000 last year, according to U.S. Census Bureau data Chiancola's ex, who declined to comment for this story, is among them. 

Source: http://abcnews.go.com/Business/role-reversal-wives-angry-paying-alimony/story?id=8662940

CNN

Had this custody drama played out in the United States, Christopher Savoie might be considered a hero -- snatching his two little children back from an ex-wife who defied the law and ran off with them. But this story unfolds 7,000 miles away in the Japanese city of Fukuoka, where the U.S. legal system holds no sway.

And here, Savoie sits in jail, charged with the abduction of minors. And his Japanese ex-wife -- a fugitive in the United States for taking his children from Tennessee -- is considered the victim. "Japan is an important partner and friend of the U.S., but on this issue, our points of view differ," the U.S. Embassy in Tokyo said Tuesday. "Our two nations approach divorce and child-rearing differently. Parental child abduction is not considered a crime in Japan."

Source: http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/09/29/japan.father.abduction/

Jane Pribek

Wisconsin Law Journal

Divorce is hard enough — but the economy is making it worse. The current situation is creating huge problems in divorce cases that require valuations of real estate and/or a closely held corporation, partnership or other business. Madison family law practitioner Linda Balisle, of Balisle & Roberson S.C., said that the poor economy has led some people to decide they can’t afford to divorce until the financial outlook improves. Others are going forward, but they’re having a tough time.

“Our clients have generally relied on their homes and whatever other real estate they might have as sort of a bank,” said Balisle, a past-chair of the American Bar Association’s Family Law Section. “They use them for second mortgages, and to borrow money for needs unrelated to the home or to pay bills. “About a year [ago] the values of most people’s homes dramatically dropped, to the point where there was insufficient equity in some cases to even justify the existing mortgages. They didn’t have the ability to obtain additional funds,” she said. Less cash means less wiggle room to structure equitable settlements, Balisle noted.

Source: http://www.wislawjournal.com/article.cfm/2009/09/28/Economy-complicates-divorce

LINDA STEIN

The Times

Robert Smilow's family business has been on a downturn over the last five years. The textile company, which designs and makes patterns for clothing manufacturers and once employed 15 people, has lost business to China due to the policies of the federal government, Smilow says.

"The way our government has structured our import and export taxes, it has decimated the business," Smilow said. "You can buy directly from China instead of from me." With its export business in trouble, the company suffered a crippling blow from the recession, and Smilow expects to be unemployed by January. The 43-year-old Hamilton Square man had separated from his wife six years ago. Their original agreement was that Smilow pay her $4,500 per month for alimony and child support for his children, who are 8 and 10, plus pick up the expenses for their children's camp and sports. He also paid for the family's health and car insurance.

Source: http://www.nj.com/news/times/regional/index.ssf?/base/news-18/1254116713249790.xml&coll=5