JANN BLACKSTONE-FORD AND SHARYL JUPE
Sun Herald

Q: I have been divorced for about three years, and I share custody of my three kids, ages 8, 12 and 17. My ex is loud, talkative and aggressive. I can't compete personality-wise, so I don't try. But I feel that I have shut down my relationship with my kids. After 18 years I let go of my role of "traditional" mom (soccer, football, church schedules). My ex is Mr. Involved. I want to be a great mom, but I want to be true to myself and my path. I'm feeling overwhelmed. It feels as if my kids like the old ways better.

A: They probably do. Most kids like their parents involved at the sidelines - teens probably don't really want to hear your opinion, but if you aren't there cheering them on, you'll hear about it - especially if that is what you have done all their life and now all of a sudden you are not interested. Two of your children are very young and need you to be there. Our advice to you is to examine why you have changed - it seems pretty obvious that something is going on with you, and you need to take a look at it. It could be anything from a secret celebration of getting away from an overbearing ex to merely a desire to return to work now that your kids are older. But, more important, we are concerned it might be depression. And if that is the case, it's time to go to the doctor.

Source: http://www.sunherald.com/382/story/540536.html