Cynthia M. Fox
Kirkwood-Webster Journal

A recent reader e-mail highlights some of the hidden pitfalls of allowing a spouse to adopt one's child from a prior relationship. She has two daughters, 6 and 12, and the older one was from before her marriage, and that during the marriage, her husband adopted the 12 year-old. In July 2007, she and the husband divorced.

"In the past couple of months, my ex-husband has made numerous comments to me indicating that he is taking me back to court over issues involving our ... daughters. My "ex" is and was a very controlling man who has been mentally and emotionally abusive to me and also to my two girls. He also has a very probable addiction to pornography, which we went to counseling for (earlier in our marriage). I live in great fear for my daughters' safety when they are with him."While not common, I have seen this situation replayed in different ways in enough divorces to know that the mom or dad just didn't appreciate the potential for future problems when they agreed to let their spouse adopt their child. These adoptions are made with the best of intentions in the desire to formalize what is already a close and loving parent-child relationship.

Source: http://kirkwoodwebsterjournal.stltoday.com/articles/2008/05/13/opinions/sj2tn20080513-0514wcj-foxfiles0.ii1.txt