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138 Crescent Avenue
Sausalito,
California
94965
Phone: 415-889-5666
Cell Phone: 415-710-1708
Fax: 415-889-5669
316 3rd Avenue
San Francisco,
California
94118
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Qualifications of Henry Koltys, Divorce Coach
Henry has over 30 years of legal experience, having practiced as a divorce coach, child custody expert, collaborative divorce mediator, a former judge, and trial attorney. Henry has mediated hundreds of cases so is very familiar with family law conflicts and paths to resolution. Henry first moved to California in 1979 to practice law as a judge in Los Angeles.
When practicing as an attorney, Henry specialized in estate planning, trusts, and financial planning, so he is highly qualified to coach his clients on these issues. As a former judge, Henry knows how judges think so has a good idea as to how the facts and the law of each case will be analyzed and what the possible outcomes would be if the parties do not resolve all issues and resort to litigation.
As a former party to a heavily litigated divorce and custody case, where at one time seven attorneys were involved, Henry knows how to manage the emotions and expectations of the client. Henry is also extremely experienced at managing strategies and tactics of the case as well as managing attorneys. Many clients do not appreciate that their own interests conflict with their attorney because family law attorneys charge by the hour and therefore: (1) have a financial self-interest in pushing litigation; (2) become a surrogate therapist at a very high price; and (3) are litigious by nature and would often rather fight than settle. Further, many attorneys have large egos and must always compete with the opposing attorney, consciously and unconsciously, winning at all costs, especially including the resources of the client.
Henry currently limits his practice to mediation, consulting, and coaching, so does not represent parties in court or practice family law in California.
In addition to being a member of numerous bar associations, he is a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, an interdisciplinary, international association of professionals whose collaborative practice reduces the level of conflict between separating and divorcing couples. Henry is also a trained Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) guardian ad litem, representing neglected and abused children who are removed from their parents.
In addition to his mediation, coaching, negotiation, and settlement experience, Henry has an educational background in mediation, counseling and guidance, and Alternative Dispute Resolution through his graduate and post-graduate education and numerous continuing legal education workshops. He is very skilled at coaching, guiding, and using non-defensive approaches with even the most difficult personalities. His years of experience and training combine to present a great bedside manner so clients feel comfortable confiding in him. They trust him to provide wise counsel and sound guidance within equitable and workable solutions.
Henry is particularly adept at working with couples in medium or high conflict cases to resolve custody, financial, and property issues. Based upon the agreed resolution determined by the parties, he crafts property agreements that accurately reflect the intention of the parties. He creates detailed custody agreements and co-parenting plans that ensure the children are protected during the difficult time of separation and divorce. Henry mediates both independently or with a therapist co-mediator, occasionally using a multi-disciplinary team approach with therapists, attorneys, or financial specialists representing each party.
Henry is Chair of the Sophia Foundation, a non-profit organization helping children and families in transition. Through Sophia, he is donating KidsFirst! custody and parenting software to family law courts around the country. Henry presents workshops for family law professionals on how to diffuse and resolve complex issues around separation and dissolution. His most recent workshop was held in San Francisco on February 3, 2007, with family law attorneys (including Certified Family Law Specialists) and therapists (PhDs, MFTs and LCSWs) in attendance.
Why Divorce is like a Death
Henry’s philosophy is straightforward: “Death, divorce, and separation are the three most stressful events in life, according to psychological research, so couples or families who break up receive a triple blow since a break-up is really a death. Those involved need to acknowledge this death and work through issues around grief, loss, responsibility, and guilt, whether through self-help such as reading and taking time to reflect or with trained professionals in group or individual therapy. Separation or divorce can be a tremendous opportunity for positive change, personal growth, and even transformation, freeing an individual to obtain peace of mind and mindfulness when forming new relationships.” Oftentimes couples are locked in a high conflict posture with resulting hurt feelings and deep anger that cannot be resolved without understanding the true sources of conflict that may include childhood and pre-relationship issues. Collaborative mediation can help resolve these conflicts and maintain important family and business relationships.
Visit Henry’s websites at www.mediation4resolution.com and www.kids-first.com 
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Please email us or visit our website for additional information.
