Massachusetts Life After Divorce FAQ's - Moving on and Moving Away

1) I've been divorced for five years, and I've got a great job offer in Texas. My divorce papers give me sole custody of the kids, and give my "ex" visitation every other weekend. What happens when I move to Texas
Slow down. You can't leave Massachusetts with the children unless your "ex" agrees, or the divorce court grants permission.

2) I thought sole custody gave me the freedom to do what I want.
Wrong! Try to get your "ex" to agree. Give your "ex" plenty of time with the children during the summer and school vacations. Offer to pay for or share the air fare for the children to travel to and from Texas frequently.

3) My "ex" will never agree. What do I do?
File a complaint for permission to remove the minor children from Massachusetts, and ask the judge to appoint a guardian ad litem right away.

The guardian ad litem, referred to as the "G A L " is a mental health professional or lawyer appointed by the court to speak with you, your "ex", and the children. The G A L writes the court a report with recommendations. If you and your "ex" accept the recommendations, that's pretty much the end of the case. By the way, the court will probably order you and your "ex" to pay the G A L.

5) What happens if I disagree with the recommendations?
You have the right to ask for a trial to present your case, but we have a backlog in Massachusetts, so don't pack your bags yet. Also, you still owe your share of the G A L's bill.

6) What does the court look for in these cases?
You need to show the court the "clear advantage" to you and the children in moving to Texas, and a plan for maintaining the children's access to your "ex".

7) I'll try mediation first, because it may take less time and money.
Right! But you still need the final approval from the court, so get a written agreement through mediation for the court's approval.

8) Do the courts ever let a parent move with kids on a temporary basis?
Sometimes courts require parties to review custody and visitation, but after you and children live outside Massachusetts for more than six months, the courts here may no authority to make any more decisions.

9) What happens then?
The children's new "home state" has authority to make custody and visitation decisions.

10) Even if my "ex" is still in Massachusetts?
Yes.

11) Can my "ex" use the Massachusetts courts to take custody away from me in Texas?
Generally speaking, no. Courts don't like people running in and out of different courts, so Massachusetts will probably defer to Texas after the children have been in Texas six months.

12) Okay, but assuming I get to leave with the kids now, and they get the urge to return to Massachusetts when they're teenagers, what happens then?
A lot of judges talk about adolescents needing a chance to leave the primary caretaker -- you -- to live with the other parent. It happens, and you and the courts generally have to go along with the change.

13) Will I get to see the kids?
As far as the court is concerned, yes, but keep in mind that older kids spend more time with friends than parents.

14) That makes sense. I just don't want my "ex" bad mouthing me, and turning the kids against me.
Of course not. Both parents should refrain from saying negative things about the other parent within earshot of the children.

15) Easier said than done. I'll try.