Can I get a restraining order if I am sick and confined to bed, or if I have a physical or mental disability?

Yes. A judge may issue a TRO upon sworn testimony or complaint of a person who represents a person who is physically or mentally incapable of filing.

Where must I file for a temporary restraining order?

You may file in the county where the domestic violence occurred, where you live, where the abuser lives or where you are sheltered.

How long will I have to wait to see a judge?

There is no way to tell how long it will take for you to see a judge on any particular day. Go to the courthouse as early as possible. You may have to spend an entire work day at the courthouse, so notify your employer beforehand. Be prepared in the event your wait is a long one. Arrange for a safe place for your children to stay while you are in court.

What will I have to do when I file for my TRO through the police?

The police will help you file a written complaint that explains what happened. The police officer will call a judge and read your complaint. The judge should speak with you, and perhaps ask you a few more questions, before he or she decides whether or not to issue a TRO on your behalf.

If your TRO is denied, call the hotline of your local domestic violence program for other options that are available to you. You are entitled to a review of this denial by a Superior Court judge. If you are denied a TRO and continue to feel unsafe at home, the domestic hotline can help make arrangements for you to stay in a safe place.

What happens if I receive a temporary restraining order at the courthouse or through the police and the municipal judge?

A TRO is a legal document. It will contain the orders of the judge. You will receive a copy that you are to keep in your possession at all times. The police department receives a copy, the court receives a copy, and the defendant must be served with notice that he or she is not allowed to have contact with you until the court schedules another hearing, usually within 10 days. At this second hearing, you and the abuser will have a chance to testify. The judge will consider both testimonies before issuing a Final Restraining Order.

What happens after I file the complaint and papers with the court and get a TRO?

The sheriff of your county will attempt to serve the abuser at the places you have told them they can find him. The abuser must be served with the papers so he or she knows to stay away from you and your children and others you have requested he or she stay away from in your complaint.

Will I have to go back to the court at any time?

Within 10 days of the date of the TRO you will have to appear in court for the final hearing. The abuser may also be in court at this time, and the judge will give him or her a chance to tell his or her side of the story. There will be protection for you in the courtroom and in the courthouse. If you are fearful because the abuser is there, tell the court officer. If you need an escort out of the Courthouse because you are afraid of the defendant, ask the court officer to get a sheriff's officer to escort you.

Do I have to go back to the court if I choose to dismiss the civil complaint?

YES. If you want to dismiss the civil complaint, you must go to court on the scheduled hearing date. You will be asked to explain your reasons for wanting to dismiss the complaint. The judge will want to know that you are doing this without threats or pressure from someone else. If the judge is convinced that this is your own decision, the complaint will be dismissed.

What will I need to bring with me to court?

At the time of the final hearing you should bring proof of the amount of money you need from the defendant as support if he or she has an obligation to support you. Proof includes: canceled checks or a lease or other documents that show the amount of your rent or mortgage, utility bills, the latest income tax returns or pay stubs and any other information to prove how much money you need from the abuser.

Do I have to speak at the hearing?

At the final hearing you will tell the judge what the abuser did to you that caused you to file for a TRO. You will tell the judge if the abuser hit you, punched you, kicked you, pushed you, etc. If you are afraid of the abuser you will tell the judge this and why you are fearful. You will tell the judge about other times when the abuser hurt you or made you afraid or threatened you in any way. You must not be afraid of the judge because he or she is there to help you and to keep you safe from harm.

You will also tell the judge how much money you will need for support from the abuser if he or she has an obligation to support you and your children. You will show the judge the proof of how much you need for housing and food and other things for you and your children.

What steps do I take after I receive a final restraining order?

You will receive a copy of the Final Restraining Order after the hearing. It is important to keep a copy with you at all times. It is important that you do the following:

• Review the order before you leave the courtroom. If something is wrong or missing ask the court clerk to correct the order before you leave.
• Make several copies of the order to leave in safe places in case you need them. Keep one at your job, one at your home, one at your children's school, babysitter or day care program.
• Give a copy to a neighbor that you trust.
• Give a copy to friends or relatives who are named and protected in the order.
• Make sure your local police have a copy of the order.
• Give a copy to the security guard where you live or work.
• Change your locks as soon as possible.
• Change your telephone number as soon as possible to an unlisted number.

Do I also have the right to file a criminal complaint if I choose?

YES. A criminal complaint accuses the abuser of committing a crime. The New Jersey Prevention of Domestic Violence Act lists acts that are considered to be crimes against the victim. They are:

• Homicide
• Assault (both simple assault and aggravated assault)
• Terroristic Threats
• Kidnapping
• Criminal Restraints
• False Imprisonment
• Sexual Assault
• Criminal Sexual Contact
• Lewdness
• Criminal Mischief
• Burglary
• Criminal Trespass
• Harassment
• Stalking

Should I file criminal charges if I have already filed for a restraining order and received this protection?

You should discuss with a domestic violence advocate the issue of whether to file a criminal complaint against your abuser. However, you should make your own decision about filing a criminal charge against the abuser. You have been the victim of a criminal act by someone with whom you have or once had a relationship. A criminal act is not permitted between any two people regardless of their relationship to each other.

Domestic violence is recognized as a serious life-threatening crime. The Prevention of Domestic Violence Act was enacted to protect you. It is your right to use the law.

How do I file a criminal complaint?

You usually begin the process at your police department or your local municipal court. From this point, the process is different, depending on the crime and the county where the crime has taken place. In some cases the police will issue a warrant for arrest. In other cases a court summons will be issued.

The case will either proceed through the municipal court system or be handed over to the county prosecutor's office. A case screening may be scheduled. If you receive notice about a case screening, make sure you call the phone number on the notice the day before the scheduled screening to find out what has happened to your charges. Sometimes charges will be reduced, depending upon the evidence in the case. It is important to keep in touch with the prosecutor's office or municipal court, and provide whatever they need to resolve your case.

REMINDER: Criminal complaints and violations of a restraining order complaints must be filed and prosecuted in the county where the offense took place. This is different than the filing for a civil restraining order. Civil restraining orders can be filed in several different places: where you live or are sheltered, where the abuser lives or where the domestic violence took place.

Is there anything I need to do if I file a criminal complaint?

All criminal cases require evidence. This is why it is important for you to seek treatment for any physical or emotional injuries you have suffered at the hands of the attacker. For example, if the attacker has given you a black eye, take a photograph of your black eye. It would also help if you tell a medical professional, either your private doctor or someone in a hospital clinic or emergency room, how you received this injury or why you have become so emotionally upset. If you are on welfare, or if your family is working with the Division of Youth and Family Services, tell your social worker what happened. You can also call your local domestic violence hotline if you need help and support. (See Helpful Numbers at the end of this booklet.)

REMINDER: If you are physically injured, ask the doctor or nurse to document your injury, how it happened, and to include photos of your injury in your medical record. These records may be useful to you if you choose to take legal action. Even if you choose not to file criminal charges at that time, it is still important to have a record of what was done to you.

If I file criminal charges, what can I expect before the case goes to trial?

After you have filed criminal charges, the abuser will probably be released from custody on bail, or on his or her own word. According to the law, the court that releases the abuser (the defendant) on bail may require him or her to follow certain rules. These rules are listed in a bail order, which, like the civil restraining order, is a legally enforceable document.

The rules on the bail may include prohibiting the defendant from having any contact with you. This includes prohibiting the defendant from entering your home, place of work or school, or harassing you or your relatives.

If you and the abuser are living together, the judge releasing the defendant may allow him or her to return home to pick up personal belongings. Ask the judge to limit the time the defendant can stay, and ask that a police escort supervise him or her while there. The court clerk, or your lawyer if you have one, must give you a copy of this bail order. Keep it in a safe place. You may need it if the defendant does not obey the bail order. If the abuser is released on bail, you have the right to be notified of this release. Law enforcement authorities will attempt to notify you of the release.

Will I have to testify?

YES. A court hearing will be scheduled as soon as possible on your charges, and you will have to testify. If the defendant is found guilty, the judge will sentence him or her. The sentence will depend on the facts in the case. As part of the sentence, the judge may order the defendant to continue obeying the bail order. This is called a sentencing order. In addition, as part of the sentencing order, the judge may require the defendant to get professional counseling.

What happens if a bail order or sentencing order is not obeyed?

If the abuser does not obey the terms of the bail order or the sentencing order, he or she can be arrested and put in jail. Call the police if a violation occurs. Have your copy ready to show the police when they arrive.

Will I need a lawyer to handle these procedures?

The New Jersey Prevention of Domestic Violence Act was written so you can do everything yourself, which is called "pro se" in legal terms. There are times when you may want to consult a lawyer, especially if you are considering a divorce because of an abusive and threatening marital relationship. You may contact a lawyer through your county legal services office or county bar association lawyer referral service. Also, your local domestic violence program may know of lawyers with particular expertise in domestic violence.

Are there ever any false complaints made under the Domestic Violence Act?

In my experience, the area of domestic violence is one of the most abused laws in the State of New Jersey. In my opinion, in about one half of the cases, the primary reason why the wife filed for the restraining order is because she wants to evict her husband from the home. Remember, even if a couple are divorcing, both parties have equal rights to live at the marital home. In my opinion, about one half of domestic violence complaints that are filed every year are frivolous. There appears to be three major reasons for filing groundless domestic violence complaints. They are as follows;

1. The "victim" wants to exclude the estranged spouse or lover from the home.
2. The "victim" wants to achieve a perceived advantage in the context of a contested child custody action.
3. The "victim" wants to punish the alleged aggressor for things having nothing whatsoever to do with domestic violence.

If an innocent party has been unjustly accused of an act or acts of domestic violence, it is strongly recommended that competent legal counsel be immediately sought. Pro se representation should be avoided if at all possible. In choosing an attorney to defend against a false domestic violence claim, great care must be taken to ensure that the attorney is well-versed and experienced in this area of the law. It is extremely difficult to get rid of a Final Restraining Order "once one has been entered" without the purported victim's consent. Experienced New Jersey Family Lawyers with special knowledge of our domestic violence laws should be contacted the moment it is suspected that a false accusation may emerge.