Test Your Mediation Potential: Are you a good candidate for mediation?

Mediation is a superior alternative to the traditional adversarial divorce process. Each person is fully involved in the process guided by a neutral mediator to reach a settlement that is acceptable and fair to each of you.

Mediation works successfully for many divorcing families. Cooperative couples more often choose to mediate. Families with high conflict need mediation even more to avoid the high costs of litigation and the deepening conflicts that result from the adversity inherent in court litigated "solutions".

Mediation focuses on the future and making arrangements that take all family members into consideration. Stress is lower for you, your spouse and other family members. You are certain of the outcome because you work face to face in a mediation environment to achieve your own mutual settlement customized to your family.

Give yourself one point for each "YES". A score of 5 or more indicates a strong likelihood of successful mediation. An absence of many of the indicators does not however mean successful mediation is impossible. It does mean that disputes may be more difficult and costly to settle.

• Is the desire for settlement of the dispute high for both of you?
• Do you both have a history of cooperative and successful problem solving on some issues?
• Are you capable and willing to communicate with each other and with the mediator in a reasonable and civil manner during the mediation sessions?
• Is there pressure to settle because of time, high legal costs, unpredictable outcome, or some other factor?
• Do you each have attorneys who are experienced in and supportive of the mediation process?
• Do both of you agree to open access to all documentation of assets, liabilities, and income?
• You and your spouse have not hidden assets from each other?
• You and your spouse have not denied access to the child(ren) to each other?
• Is there an absence of domestic violence or abuse in your household?
• Have you and your spouse agreed to divorce?
• Is the process of grieving the ended marriage ongoing or complete for both parties?
• Do you have adequate resources to find a compromise? (Limited resources tend to create more competitive relationships and striving for win/lose outcomes.)

Personal Note:
Let me be your guide to a mediated divorce or to resolve family disputes that arise after divorce or adoption. You will be amazed how effective mediation can be.