Child Related Issues

Separation, divorce, custody, payment of or receipt of child support, and the many other issues which flow from a relationship or marriage are emotionally charged issues which often cloud one's ability to be objective. Even before reaching the decision to separate or divorce, there are many situations which require the cooperation of both parties. It is in your best interest to seek out the services of an attorney and learn about your rights and obligations.

If there are children involved, the two of you will need to decide who will be the primary custodial parent once the two of you separate. The next question to address is child support. Often, the party paying child support feels that the money he/she pays for the children is not used for the children, but is used by the custodial parent for his/her own expenses. Each of you needs to be realistic as to how much it costs to house, feed, clothe and care for the children.

It is more difficult to support two households than one. The custodial parent (payee) relies on receiving child support each week to meet expenses. The non-custodial parent (payor) often finds it difficult to meet the support obligation and to cover his/her own living expenses as well.

Problems often arise when the payor loses or quits his/her job or when the payee refuses to allow the payor to see the children because the support payments are late. Each of the parties involved needs to think what is best for the children and try not to dig your heels in and be stubborn.

Parenting time is another issue which creates problems between parents. The custodial parent may say that the children do not want to visit the other parent, or the noncustodial parent does not exercise his/her visitation with the children. Whether or not there is a court order in effect setting out a visitation or parenting schedule, it is the obligation of both parents to exercise his/her parenting time and to encourage the children to see the other parent. If there is a court order in effect, each of you is bound to comply with the court order and explain to the children that you are obligated to follow the court order. Of course if you are concerned about abuse or neglect, you should contact your attorney immediately to determine what steps should be taken to protect the children.

Neither party should dictate to the other what he/she is going to do in a situation. Instead, there has to be a give and take when it comes to working out many of the problems which arise when there is a separation or divorce. There will be times when you may need to change the day of a scheduled visitation or will want additional time with the kids. If you have shown flexibility in the past, it may come back to benefit you, when you need it most.