Divorce is one of the most traumatic things for anyone to endure. Divorce for men can be especially difficult as you may fear you will lose custody of your children and have to pay alimony since there is a perception that the courts favor women in a divorce. These rules are no longer necessarily true and the courts try to provide equal custody to both parents as a rule, but it is still important for you to make sure your rights are protected. Here are a few tips designed especially for men facing divorce to help make sure you get a fair deal throughout the process.
Tips When Dealing with Divorce for Men
- Don’t make assumptions – Assuming you will remember particular facts, assuming your spouse will do what she said she would, assuming you will keep certain or lose certain assets, all assumptions are a very dangerous business when it comes to divorce. So, in essence, question everything and especially, record everything. Every discussion, agreement, account, everything should be recorded.
- Be smart – Men may sometimes be surprised that they feel like they are on the defensive on the details, even if they are the one whose largely the “victim” in a divorce, and many men feel like the process is slanted towards the ladies. For this reason, put your best foot forward and be smart. In addition to keeping good records, make sure you ask advice of the right people and educate yourself (as you are now by reading these tips) about the common practices and pitfalls of the divorce process. You can never be too smart when it comes to an adversarial divorce.
- Be careful what you promise – A husband may be tempted into making promises based on guilt, including guilt that the marriage ended badly or that the children are affected. That may lead to promises that you, the husband, cannot or should not keep. When you feel guilty, keep your mouth shut, and keep the promises to a minimum.
- Watch out for depression – It is a common misconception that women are more likely to suffer from depression as a result of divorce. Depression affects men too, and can mean that they make wrong choices during the divorce process. Get the support you need to keep perspective, and remember that this too shall pass. Your divorce will end, and you will begin rebuilding your life.
- Watch those accounts – Get accounts into one of your names, and don’t take joint accounts on after divorce. If your ex-wife defaults on a credit card bill that is still in your name, she can still ruin your credit after divorce. Cancel or change all such accounts, and pay as many balances off immediately.
- Push to have the family home sold, unless it needs to remain for children and schools – Your ex-wife should agree to paying the mortgage with her alimony, if she needs to keep the house. Many men have difficulty making ends meet after divorce, so selling the house and splitting the proceeds can help mitigate that financial burden.
Getting Help
When you are considering divorce, make sure you consult with an experienced attorney. Your lawyer should be familiar with father's rights laws and should act as your advocate in making sure you are treated fairly and arrive at an appropriate divorce settlement with your former wife.
