Divorce generally carries with it a lot of anger. After all, a person you once loved and committed to spend your life with is now someone you dislike enough that you have to get a divorce since you can't stay in the marriage any longer. Emotions including hurt feelings, betrayal, fear and fury are always common. it can be very tempting to try to use the process of divorce and ending your marriage to punish your spouse for all the wrongs he or she did during your marriage, either real or perceived, that led to the dissolution of the union. This is especially true if your spouse cheated on you or if your spouse wants a divorce and you don't. So, why should you take the high road during divorce and not be as contentious as possible to try to spite your spouse and make him sorry?
Benefits of Being Fair During Divorce
There are numerous benefits to you if you take the high road during divorce, despite your feelings of bitterness towards your spouse. These benefits include:
- A quicker and less costly divorce. If you are reasonable in your divorce negotiations, it stands to reason that you and your spouse will have a better chance of formulating your own settlement out of court. When the court simply has to approve an uncontested divorce, as opposed to hear protracted litigation to decide who gets what assets and who gets custody, it is obviously a lot faster and easier. Faster and easier means less court costs, smaller legal fees, and overall less strain on your emotions and finances.
- More say in what happens to you and your assets and kids: If you and your spouse can work out a settlement between the two of you, then you actually get to have a say in what happens. You can make concessions on things you don't care quite as much about and hold your ground on things that really matter. If you make it impossible to come to an agreement and the judge has to decide everything, then your fate is in his hands and you both are stuck with his ruling, whether either of you likes it or not.
Getting Help
When you are considering a divorce, it is essential you get help from a competent divorce attorney. With a lawyer by your side, it is much easier to take the high road. After all, your lawyer can be the one who actually interfaces and speaks with your spouse, allowing you to avoid nasty confrontations that dissolve into fights. Your lawyer can also advise you on decisions so you're more likely to think with your head and not your anger.
