When you are getting a divorce, there are a lot of things you have to figure out, from who will get the toaster to who will get the house to who will get the art you bought on your honeymoon. Nothing, however, is as important as who will be granted custody of the kids. If you and your spouse both want custody of the children, then there are several key steps to get custody of kids that you should take. It is also important to understand the process by which custody decisions are made.
Who Decides on Custody?
There are two different ways for you to decide who gets custody of the kids:
- You and your spouse can come to your own agreement and include it in a divorce settlement. This is often the best way, since you each get to decide what really works for you instead of having a judge decide. The court will then review your custody arrangement and sign off on it, provided it seems reasonable.
- You and your spouse can turn the case over to a court to decide who gets custody. You'll both have to make arguments and present evidence. This is far more costly, and whatever the judge decides you are stuck with it- even if neither of you are happy.
How the Court Decides Custody
If the court is going to be the one deciding who gets custody, they will look at the best interests of the child. Usually, this means they'll want to preserve access to both parents so the child doesn't end up losing one of his important relationships. Except in cases of abuse or neglect, some type of joint custody is thus almost always awarded if it is sought.
If you want to get primary custody or prove that your spouse should not get custody at all, then the steps to get custody of the kids include:
- Collecting evidence to prove it is in your child's best interests to stay with you
- Proving to the court you have always been the child's primary caregiver and thus you should continue to be so as to provide continuity for the child
- Proving to the court that your spouse is unfit, abusive, immoral or otherwise not eligible for custody
Getting Help
The first and best step to getting custody of the kids during divorce is to get the help of an experienced and qualified family law attorney. Your attorney can help you to negotiate a deal with your spouse or can help you to collect evidence to prove to the judge that your child is best off under your care and not the case of your spouse.
