Divorce settlements can be arrived at in several different manners. Ultimately, the purpose of a divorce settlement is to sever ties between you and the person you are married to and to legally end your marriage and joint lives. It can be a very emotional time and the decisions you make during the divorce settlement process can have a huge impact on your emotional and financial future.
Types of Divorce Settlement
There are three main ways to handle the divorce settlement process:
- You and your spouse whom you are divorcing can sit down together and come up with a fair settlement in which you divide up your stuff and your kids. You and your spouse can either do this on your own or with attorneys. This is the cheapest way, but it doesn't always work because both parties have to be willing to be fair and to talk things out. In such cases, the court doesn't have to decide anything- it simply signs off on the divorce paperwork after a review of the information.
- You and your spouse can go to a meeting with a professional mediator. The mediator will assist you in actually talking and expressing the things you each want most. This can sometimes be successful in getting you and your spouse to agree, even when you weren't able to on your own. Mediators won't make rulings or order either of you to do anything; they are simply trained in negotiation and mediation and can help you two agree on your own.
- You and your spouse can litigate the case in family court. You'll each present witnesses and make arguments for why the judge should side with you on various issues from custody to property division. The judge will apply the laws of the state to the evidence to make a decision.
Do-It-Yourself Divorce Settlement
Negotiating your divorce settlement, either on your own or with the help of lawyers or mediators, has many benefits including:
- Lower cost
- A greater chance of getting what you each want and coming to a real world solution that works.
However, it doesn't always work. If one or both of you is unreasonable, can't compromise or even be in the same room to negotiate, or is resistant to the idea of actually working things out, settling a divorce yourself may fail miserably and you'll have simply wasted time and have to go to court anyway. As such, it is important to realistically evaluate whether the two of you can work well enough together to split up assets and custody without an authority telling you what to do.
Getting Help
If you do decide to try to settle your divorce yourself without the courts input on your divorce settlement, it is very important to hire an attorney. Your attorney can do a lot of the negotiation for you, making sure both that emotions don't get in the way and that you are getting the thins you are entitled to under the law and not having your rights trampled on by a spouse who is eager to take advantage of your willingness to compromise.
