Divorce facts men tend to overlook include the fact that even in today’s court system, women get child custody over 80% of the time. There was once a presumption that children should always be in the primary custody of the mother. Most states no longer allow that presumption. State laws vary on what is considered when determining custody in a divorce, but the general standard used today is the “best interests of the child” standard. While most states have eliminated the presumption that the mother should have primary custody, when looking at the best interests of the child, the specific factors that are considered still tend to favor mothers.
Caregiver
One factor in determining custody is the primary caregiver factor. The primary caregiver is the parent who has been responsible for most of the daily needs of the child including feeding, bathing, playing, waking and putting to bed, etc. Even as more women are working full-time now than in the past, women tend to take on the primary caregiver roles. Fathers should take on as many of these daily tasks as possible. Mothers also tend to be responsible for making doctor appointments and child care arrangements. These tasks are included in the court’s determination of primary caregiver. A father should participate in as many of these child care decisions as possible. Following a divorce, a father will be put into the role of primary caregiver during the times he is solely responsible for the child’s care, and that is a good situation for the child.
Parent-child Bond
Another factor courts use in making custody determination is the consideration of the bond between the parent and the child. The younger the child, the more common it is that the bond between the mother and child is greater than the bond between the father and child. This is not a reflection on the father as much as it is a reflection on typical parenting roles when children are young. A mother is typically the one to feed the child from birth through toddler years and that closeness allows for a different kind of bond than a father might have with a child. Mothers tend to offer more emotional and physical closeness by giving more hugs and sympathy than fathers and as a result, young children tend to look to their moms for basic daily needs and emotional support. The more involved a father can be with his infant and young child, the closer the bond will be.
Getting Legal Help
A father wishing to get custody of his child following a divorce action should consult an experienced family law attorney to help him establish the necessary factors he will need to fight the common presumption that a mother is a better custodial parent. An experienced family law attorney knows the particular areas of focus for the district court in which a father has filed and can focus the attention of the court accordingly to improve the chances for a father wishing to have primary custody.
