The fact that you are considering a divorce means that your marriage is on rocky ground. To stay or go women have been faced with this question for years. The answer will depend on factors such as you and your children’s safety and ultimately, your happiness.
How to Decide Whether to Stay or Go?
The most common reason why women choose to stay in their marriages are quite typical and of course very understandable. However, as heroic as choosing to stay in the marriage may sound, women have the tendency to confuse reasons with excuses and they end up staying in unhealthy and unhappy situations.
Usual reasons/excuses include
- Kids,
- Money,
- Guilt,
- Fear, and
- Friendship with relatives.
To stay or to go, you must weigh your feelings, emotions, and look into the future to see whether your present life is healthy or not. There are several key questions to ask yourself when making this decision.
Are you scared?
If you are experiencing a sense of fear, this not a good sign. If your relationship is making you emotionally and physically sick, you might want to separate yourself from that situation. If you fear for you and your children’s safety, by all means move out. If your husband is suffering from drug or alcohol abuse, this should immediately raise a red flag and suggest it may be time for you to leave. This is especially true if he has the tendency to be violent. Why would you want to put you and your kids’ life in danger? The only exception to this is if your husband is actively participating in a recovery program and is exerting efforts to improve himself. If he refuses any kind of help, pack up and leave.
Do you see a much brighter future?
If you are able to see yourself much happier after ending your marriage, take this as a clear sign of what you should do. It is not just the pain and hardships of a failing marriage that leads you to consider a divorce but it’s the sun after the storm that you are most people look forward to. Perhaps you would like to take a new career path, travel the world, or become involved with a different partner. Then do what it takes to get that new beginning you deserve.
What about the children?
Studies have shown that a divorce has long-term effects on the children’s lives. However, this does not mean that staying in the marriage is always best for the welfare of the children. You might worry about your kids having divorced parents but there is evidence that a marriage that is characterized by conflict and animosity is not healthy for the children either. In addition, there are also studies that show that the dissolution of a marriage can be beneficial to children if it removes them from a home where there is constant fighting or abuse.
Getting Help
As soon as you begin contemplating divorce, you should speak with a qualified and experienced family law attorney. Your lawyer can explain to you what course a divorce is likely to take and give you an indication of what your custody and financial situations may look like after the divorce.
