If you are a woman who is in the middle of a divorce, you want to do your very best to make sure you receive a fair divorce--the results of your final divorce decree will follow you for many, many years. Whether we want to believe it or not, marriage is an economic contract and an economic partnership, and most states have equitable distribution laws--the current exceptions being Idaho, California, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana and Washington, which all have community property laws. In a community property state the property is split 50/50, while in an equitable distribution state the court determines a fair, reasonable and equitable distribution which could grant more or less than 50% to either party.
Biggest Obstacles
Divorce can be financially and emotionally stressful, especially for women who may find it especially difficult to manage their ongoing lives, their work and their children, when the resources become more limited, and the demands on their time and emotions increase. Many times women will have to take on extra responsibilities in addition to their current ones, such as managing the finances or returning to work after having been a stay-at-home mom. Divorce can take a significant amount of time, leaving your life complicated and up in the air. It is very advantageous during this time to have an exceptional divorce attorney in your corner who will make sure your rights are fully protected and your final settlement is fair and equitable.
Equitable Distribution
There are certain factors which determine what is equitable and fair regarding martial assets, and generally takes into account the duration of your marriage, the age and physical and emotional health of both parties, the income or property brought to the marriage by each partner, the standard of living established during the marriage, the income and earning capacity of each party, the contributions by each party to the education training or earning power of the other, the value of the marital property, the debts and liabilities of the parties, the present value of the property, the tax consequences of the proposed distribution to each party,and basically any other factors which the court deems relevant.
Custody and Visitation
Most states have specific child support guidelines, as well as clear-cut visitation laws, so although these issues may be difficult ones for you and your spouse, you need only remember that your children will be super-aware of your feelings during this time. The more "together" you can be during this time, the easier it will be for your children. As hard as it is, resist the urge to talk badly about the children's father--no matter how awful he's currently being. It will only harm them--and you--in the long run. Allow the children frequent time with their father, and use that time to learn a new skill, take up a new hobby, or meet an interesting person. Try to remember the person you were before the divorce, determine the person you want to be after the divorce.
Hire an Attorney
You should look for a very experienced family law attorney who is both exceptionally knowledgeable about the law and also one who is fair-minded and interested in the welfare of you and your children. If you can find an attorney who is trained in collaborative law, a method of resolving family law issues through negotiation rather than litigation, all the better. You should feel comfortable with your attorney, and be able to put your trust in him or her, believe they will do their very best to ensure you get a fair and equitable divorce.
