Choosing an Attorney

There are areas of law in which choosing an attorney is relatively straightforward. But when the issue is divorce, legal separation, paternity, custody, visitation, or child support, it's essential that you have excellent rapport with your lawyer.

The Attorney/Client Relationship Must Be One of Trust and Rapport:

These cases are highly charged. As a result, you are likely to lose objectivity. At those times, your attorney's job is to be a voice of reason. For example, sometimes lawyers must remind clients that the cost of litigation will exceed the value of property in dispute, and thus only the attorneys will gain through litigation. If you've lost sight of what's in your own best interest, it's your attorney's responsibility to tell you what you need to know, even if it's not what you want to hear. This is one of the hardest jobs an attorney has, but a good lawyer will do his or her best to help you navigate a wise course through difficult terrain. At times like this, the more you like and trust your attorney, the easier it will be to hear and accept such advice.

The Attorney's Skills

As in other areas of practice, your attorney must be competent. The more unusual or difficult your case, the more expertise your attorney should have. But of equal importance, be sure your lawyer is comfortable tailoring his or her approach to your specific needs. Some cases are best resolved in Mediation, through Collaborative Divorce, or through other forms of negotiation. Other cases are best litigated. In domestic relations, no attorney is right for every case. Each divorce is unique, as is each attorney-client relationship. As hard as divorce is, the results will be better and the process less painful if you choose your lawyer carefully. Interview several before retaining one. The investment made up front will pay for itself many times over when you find the attorney who is right for you and your case.

The Law Firm

It's important to be comfortable with the way your attorney's law firm operates. Ask questions, such as who will be handling the details of your case, how easy or difficult it will be to reach your attorney if problems arise, and what will happen on those occasions when no one is available to take your call. If you have other questions, don't hesitate to ask. Each deserves a thoughtful response, and the best attorney-client relationships are built on honest and straightforward communication.

Legal Philosophy

Make sure you understand and feel comfortable with your attorney's legal philosophy. The practice of law is more art than science. Competent attorneys can disagree about how best to handle a case, and you may prefer a particular approach.

I believe an attorney is, first and foremost, a problem solver. He or she must be willing to do what's necessary to obtain sound custody and visitation orders and a fair resolution of property, debt and spousal maintenance issues. When litigation is necessary, it's better to face that reality and plan accordingly. But conflict is often best resolved through negotiation. When spouses are willing to act in good faith, each can choose the areas in which to compromise. Working together to find win-win solutions to difficult issues, they will create far higher levels of satisfaction than would result from any court-imposed orders.

Remember: Once your case goes to court, you lose control. The judge decides what's best for you and your children. Thus, some of the most important decisions of your life will be made by a stranger.

Although judges make sincere efforts to do what's best for the people before them, they must base their decisions on the limited information presented. They don't have time to get to know you or your children in any meaningful way. Moreover, the court's jurisdiction is limited. It cannot be nearly as creative as couples working together. Think of the court as analogous to a bulldozer: powerful but completely lacking in subtlety, going down the same well-worn grooves again and again.

That's why I recommend resolving issues through negotiation to the extent that mutually beneficial agreements can be reached, and letting the court rule only on those issues where this approach does not lead to high-quality results.

The preceding discussion is meant to demonstrate how an attorney's legal philosophy can affect the handling of your case. Keep in mind that there are as many legal philosophies as there are attorneys. I recommend investing the time and funds necessary to interview several attorneys and find the one best suited to you and your case.