Good or bad, your parents have a lot of influence on your life. Your fears and pleasures and your actions and reactions are reflections of the people who brought you up. It is rarely good for a child to be deprived of contact with one of his parents, even if Mom and Dad don’t like each other. Thus, under Indiana law, the noncustodial parent’s time with his or her child is strongly protected.
Indiana Code (hereinafter IC) 31-17-4-1 provides that the noncustodial parent shall have reasonable visitation with his or her child unless the court specifically finds that having contact with that parent is detrimental to a child’s physical health or well-being. In some cases, a court can permit visitation to occur, but only under the supervision of a third party. IC 31-17-4-2. For example, in In re Marriage of J.M., 2006 N.E.2d Slip (2006-160), a mentally ill father whose bad temper was a source of fear to his child was forced to exercise his right of contact with the little boy at the office of a custody service provider. In Duncan v. Duncan, 2006 N.E.2d Slip (2006-123), the father’s visitation with his children was totally suspended because he had sexually molested his daughter. In Shady v. Shady, 2006 N.E.2d (53A01-0605-CV-222), a father whose close relationship with his daughter was deemed to be beneficial was placed under supervision because of the risk that he would flee to Egypt during visitation periods, therefore making it very difficult for the mother to reclaim custody of the child.
In general, parenting time is governed by the Indiana parenting time guidelines. The guidelines contain suggested visitation periods for noncustodial parents under different situations. A young child, for instance, may be better off having frequent contact with the other parent for shorter periods of time. School-age children are generally ordered to spend alternate weekends and a weekday evening with the noncustodial parent. Other considerations come into play when the parents live far apart, where frequent visitation may become impossible. In those cases, parenting time is scheduled during extended vacations from school, during the summer, or for holiday breaks. The guidelines are what the courts rely upon when making parenting time orders, and are available at your local courthouse.
The custodial parent’s influence on a child is great. If desired, he or she can convince the child that the other parent is dangerous, cruel, or somehow defective. Because of this, courts are very strict with parents whose reason for not accommodating visitation is that “the child does not want to visit.” It is not the child’s choice. It is the other parent’s privilege, and an uncooperative parent can find him or herself on the business end of an injunction. IC 31-17-4-4 or IC 31-17-4-5. Violation of a parenting order can be punished with jail time and community service.
A custodian’s authority over childrearing decisions is broad. The custodial parent has the right to make educational, religious, and health care decisions for the child. IC 31-17-2-17. If the parties have joint custody, this authority must be shared between the parents. However, as a practical matter, daily decisions will be made by the parent with whom the child spends the most time. The court can place specific limits on the custodian’s authority if such orders are deemed necessary for the child’s welfare.
Even a sole custodian’s authority isn’t absolute. If, for instance, he or she wishes to relocate to another state, the permission of the other parent or the court must first be secured. IC 31-17-2.2-1. The non-custodial parent has a right to be notified that the move is anticipated. In addition, the address, phone number, and other pertinent information about the proposed relocation must be provided. IC 31-17-2.2-3. If the noncustodial parent is not happy about the anticipated move, he or she may request that the court have a hearing to determine whether or not it is in the child’s best interest. Employment opportunities, or an inability to find appropriate employment in Indiana, can justify relocation. However, if the move is made solely to thwart the non-custodial parent’s visitation rights, or would remove the child from important extended family connections, the court is less likely to give permission for the custodial parent to relocate with the child. That is to say, the parent can leave, but the child will have to stay in Indiana.
Neither parent can obtain a passport for the child without the permission of the other parent or the court. IC 31-17-2-24. The purpose of this provision is to prevent foreign nationals from removing their children from the United States. Obviously, it would make it more difficult for an American parent to have contact or enforce rights if the child is moved to foreign soil.
It is also important for the custodial parent to understand that child support and parenting time are two separate issues. If the non-custodian is behind in his or her child support obligation, he or she can be held in contempt by the court. However, this does not give the custodian the right to disobey the court’s parenting time order, regardless of how far behind the non-custodian is in his child support obligation. He or she still has the right to visit with the child during those times set out by the court in its original order. The non-custodian cannot be held in contempt for failing to exercise this precious privilege. However, the custodian can be held in contempt for interfering with the parenting time rights of the non-custodian. Farmer v. Farmer, 735 N.E.2d 285.
If you have reason to believe that your child is being abused by the other parent, you have an obligation to do whatever you can to protect him or her. The welfare department, the police, and the prosecutor’s office will help. A judge can enter orders to protect your child from the excesses of a parent who would harm him. Still, it is very important to make a decision to act only after considering all the circumstances. Talk to the other parent to get a sense of whether the child’s observations are true, or whether he or she is just angry over a legitimate disciplinary matter. Remember, it is the child who suffers when he is deprived of a parent’s love and support. Only in extreme circumstances is he better off without the other parent’s participation in his life. In addition, an important decision such as whether to incur the expense and aggravation of going to court should never be left to a child’s discretion. If a child knows that his parents will compete for his loyalty, he may hold all of the cards, but will inevitably lose the game.
