Divorce mediation is a new, old idea. Long, long ago there was no written law and disputes of any kind were settled in a variety of ways. Unfortunately, some of them were utterly illegal or at least frowned upon in modern society. An array of “mediators” might be brought to bear on a given problem. A mediator could be the king of the land, a tribal elder, or an uncle known as wise by other family members. The ruler Hammurabi, around 1760 B.C., brought change to the entire world in the form of the first codes – laws written down with specifics about the character of injury and the character of redress and about fairness in commerce. Life went on until we found ourselves with Perry Mason and Boston Legal as cultural icons.

Similarly, the birthing of a child was once assisted by mothers, sisters, and midwives. Birthing practices evolved into an important part of the medical institution. Divorce evolved into an important part of the legal institution. Today, paraprofessionals in the field of midwifery and divorce mediation have both re-emerged to reintroduce humanity, simplification, flexibility, and naturalness to both processes.

A “divorce midwife” is in a position to provide more individualized attention and more immediate human contact to persons who are striving to give birth to new lifestyles for themselves as individuals and to their children. The focus is on the human dimension of dissolution, and not on the “clinical” matters, which are not about antiseptics, medical instruments, and bright lights, but about preparing legal arguments and responses and generating paperwork. The focus in divorce mediation is on the miracle of lifestyle evolution and not on the legal institution which has requirements that need not be exaggerated. The goal of divorce mediation is to help make the legal mechanics as streamlined and purposeful as possible. In divorce mediation, the emphasis remains steadfastly on human factors and new life and on how to optimize the dissolution process to support the new lifestyles of each family member.

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