Two and a Half Yards of Silk

Seamstresses and tailors are skilled in arranging pattern pieces so that yardage is used as efficiently as possible. It is a hallmark of their skill that they can minimize the requirements of costly goods like fine wool and silk through clever placement of each piece, making use of folds and open edges as necessary. Developing a visitation schedule for children requires the same kind of skills.

Remember, the time available with the children is more precious than the gifts of the Three Kings, and being cooperative will be the key to making optimal use of weekends, evenings, holidays, and vacations to strengthen the child-parent bond with each parent. The key is to dovetail plans and to work cooperatively ahead of time rather than announcing a schedule and expecting everyone else to change plans to fit the pronouncement. Work through the schedule on a quarter-by-quarter basis with color coding and stickers if it helps. Start out by marking all holidays, birthdays, special events, and school events on the calendar. Using removable colored flags can help as the schedule is filled in. Expect revisions and minor renegotiations.

Time negotiation will be necessary to establish a general visitation plan as part of divorce mediation, but it will not end when the marriage is dissolved. It is a skill that will be needed for years to come.

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