My ex-spouse has custody and tries to dictate terms and activities for our children. Can she do this?
No. Unless there is a Court order specifically stating this, it is interference with your visitation rights. Take her to Court.

My ex-spouse constantly schedules other activities for my children during my scheduled visitation time. What should I do?
Petition the Court to hold your ex-spouse in contempt of Court. If your lawyer has already taken him/her to Court, then you can petition the Court for a change of custody. Constant denial of visitation may be a case for parental unfitness.

What if my ex-spouse completely withholds visitation?
Immediately call the police. Get a police report. Do not engage in any form of verbal abuse. This could lead to your arrest. If you do not have an order of visitation, have your lawyer obtain a Court order. If you do have one, have your attorney seek Court enforcement and a charge of contempt. Don't wait too long to get Court action or the Court may think you don't care.

May I withhold child support if my ex-spouse withholds visitation?
NO! These are separate issues and the Court will come down hard on you if you do. You may, however, petition the Court to allow you to withhold spousal support.

My ex-spouse lives in another state with our children. However, we were divorced in New York. May I take her to Court in New York to enforce my visitation?
Yes. But the Court may decide that the state in which your ex-spouse lives should have jurisdiction, not New York. It will depend upon how long she has lived there and where any other actions pertaining to the children have taken place.

My ex-spouse lives in another state with our children. It is also the state in which we were divorced. Can I take her to Court in New York to enforce my visitation rights?
No. You will have to go back to the state in which she and the children live.

My ex-spouse may be planning to move to another state, an action that would affect my visitation rights. What can I do?
There are a number of things you can do:

• Consult your separation agreement, your stipulation of settlement, or your Judgment of Divorce. Are there provisions on relocation?
• If there are no provisions, have your lawyer immediately go to Court to ask that your ex-spouse be restrained from moving the children out of the county without first obtaining written consent or permission from the Court. Note: It is easier to stop your ex-spouse from moving than it is to get him/her back after the move.
• If your ex-spouse has already moved, don't walk, but run to your lawyer to go to Court and petition to have him/her ordered to return the children to the county in which they have lived.

This is really a custody question but it affects visitation. I have custody of my children but my ex-wife claims she can get custody at any time because she is the mother. Is that true?
No. Her remarks are essentially blackmail and extortion. Document or tape them. The Court will frown upon such behavior. The longer the children are with you, the harder it will be for her to get a change of custody. The issue is what is in the children's best interests? The criteria includes:

• Continuing in the same school
• Maintaining the same friends
• Stability of being in the same home with the same caretaker
• If there are no problems with the children's behavior, if they are not failing in school, if they are not being neglected, then they should remain in your custody.