The primary concerns people have when they come to talk with a lawyer about divorce center on finances, co-parenting, and fear of the unknown. They often want to know:

• How do I start the discussion about divorce?
• How do we separate?
• Who holds what property, and how do the bills get paid while we search for a final resolution?
• How will we each meet our living expenses while living apart?
• How will the children be financially supported?
• How to we divide time with the children?
• How do we equitably divide our assets and liabilities?
• Am I entitled to (or will I have to pay) support alimony?
• What will I encounter in the legal process?
• How are we going to pay for all of this?

The answers to these very important questions obviously will vary with each client. It can be said generally, though, that millions of couples have faced these same fears before you, and they got through it. So will you.

The one certainty is that dissolving your marriage means great change for you. How your lawyer helps you face that change requires an initial choice on your part. This choice will define the attorney-client relationship, and affect how all the above questions are answered.

A successful attorney-client relationship begins with helping you find the best way to resolve your legal problem. You can hire a lawyer (or other professional) as a mediator to facilitate discussion between disputing parties. You may wish to hold assisted and targeted negotiations using the collaborative law process. You may prefer private but binding decision-making through arbitration. It may be necessary or preferable to go directly into litigation. The lawyer plays a distinct and different role in each dispute resolution model. Your prospective attorney should be discussing all of these options with you, and helping you decide which option best meets your needs.

Each process has its benefits and drawbacks. It is a matter of client choice. Although the attorney may be able to give you advice and guidance, the ultimate decision is yours.

The decision to dissolve a marriage carries short term and long term consequences. Someone will make decisions to set those consequences. You and your spouse or the other parent can retain control of that decision-making process in most cases, if you choose to. If you choose not to, or if circumstances dictate that you cannot, a judge will make those decisions for you. The attorney's role will be determined by the choice you make as to how you want your legal matter handled.