I was divorced in Oregon five years ago, and now I've got a great job offer in New York. My divorce papers give me sole custody of the kids and give my ex visitation every other weekend. What happens when I move?
Whoa, slow down. You usually can't just leave Oregon with the children (or even move more than 60 miles away within Oregon) unless your ex agrees, or the divorce court grants permission.
I thought sole custody gave me the freedom to do what I want.
Not quite! Try to get your ex to agree. Give your ex plenty of time with the children during the summer and school vacations. Offer to pay for or share the air fare for the children to travel to and from New York frequently.
My ex will never agree. What do I do?
File a motion to modify the custody judgment and obtain permission to move with the minor children from Oregon. Many judges will make you go to mediation before hearing your contested case in court.
What happens if we still can't agree even with the help of a mediator?
Some counties will send you to Family Court Services for a Custody Study. A social worker will interview the parents and sometimes investigate before writing a summary report, with recommendations, for the court.
If the recommendation is in my favor, then I can just move, right?
Wrong! Even if the recommendation is against your ex, he or she has the right to ask for a trial to present the case. Oregon has a backlog of cases waiting for trial (generally five to 11 months), so don't pack your bags yet.
Whoa yourself! Can't I get permission to go to New York while the motion to modify the custody judgment is pending?
Maybe. Most counties have an emergency docket so you could have a short hearing before a judge sooner than five to 11 months for the full trial.
What does the court look for in these cases?
Each case turns on its particular facts. Showing the court the "clear advantage" to you and the children of moving to New York can be helpful. Be prepared with a logical plan for maintaining the children's access to your ex.
The job starts in six weeks and I have to be in New York. You just convinced me to leave without saying anything! See ya . . .
If your ex acts promptly, Oregon will still have jurisdiction over you and the children, even though you're all living in New York. Some Oregon lawyers would tell your ex to file for a change of custody and suspend all visitations for you, or ask to stop child support, or try to have you arrested on criminal charges, such as kidnaping or custodial interference.
Are you saying my ex can use the Oregon courts to take custody away from me in New York?
Yup! Courts don't like people disregarding the rules, "hiding" children from the other parent or "running away." To prevent people from dashing in and out of different courts, most states, including Oregon, have the UCCJA (Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act) In a nutshell, UCCJA says custody cases will usually be decided by the court in the children's home state.
So I'm stuck with Oregon forever?
No. Once you and children live legally outside Oregon for more than six months, the court here might not decide. Usually, the Oregon court would defer to the New York court after the children have been in New York at least six months.
What happens then?
The children's new "home state" has authority to make custody and visitation decisions.
Even if my ex is still in Oregon?
Yes.
Okay, but assuming I get to leave with the kids now, and they get the urge to return to Oregon when they're teenagers, what happens then?
Frequently adolescents need a chance to leave the primary caretaker -- you -- to live with the other parent. It happens, and you and the courts generally have to go along with the change.
Will I get to see the kids?
As far as the court is concerned, yes, but keep in mind that older kids spend more time with friends than parents.
That makes sense. I just don't want my ex bad mouthing me, and turning the kids against me.
Of course not. Both parents should refrain from saying negative things about the other parent within earshot of the children.
Easier said than done. I'll try.
