When a man and woman marry they plan for many future events, but not divorce. Therefore, when the marriage is no longer working, a couple is suddenly confronted with countless issues and decisions – issues and decisions they are not prepared to handle.

The least expensive and emotionally painful divorces are the ones in both people used common sense and avoided the following seven critical mistakes.

1. Making legal and financial mistakes based on emotion. Consulting a therapist, counselor or pastor can help you cope with your emotional pain so you can focus on the legal and financial issues that must be negotiated.

2. Negotiating without all the important information and documents. Divorce causes every personal detail of your life to be laid bare. Everything from your monthly budget needs to retirement account must be disclosed. An uncooperative spouse can be forced into disclosing information through the discovery process. It is lengthy, expensive, and unpleasant but, you may receive an unfavorable settlement if there is not full disclosure.

3. Thinking that the divorce process must be adversarial. Divorce can be a "win-win" situation. There are settlements that were horror stories but, the true horror stories are the ones where the husband, wife, or both spent their own child's college fund paying their attorneys. Mediators are a great resource and help couples resolve settlement issues.

4. Thinking that divorce has to be expensive. The divorce process doesn't have to cost $10,000 or more per person. Divorce becomes expensive when the spouses can't work together. When spouses cooperate, they can do much of the basic legwork themselves and use attorneys for advice and processing the divorce documents.

5. Not getting professional help. There are many things in life that you can do for yourself, but divorce should not one of them. Seeking the knowledge and experience of professionals isn't expensive and can save you from making big mistakes.

6. Not knowing the real value of your assets. Some assets can be taken at face value. However, when valuing assets such as government, military and teachers pensions and, rental property it is much different. It pays to dig deep and find the true values.

7. Not controlling the process. The divorce process can be a very complicated and frightening experience. You should become educated and take action in order to help yourself. A proactive approach will help you make better decisions and negotiate a settlement agreement that is fair to all involved.

What you have learned in these few paragraphs is invaluable. Not only will this information help you to avoid potential pitfalls but should empower you and assist to lessen the emotional and financial pain of divorce. I can assure you that there is definitely life after divorce and the actions you take now will be the foundation for the future.