There are three kinds of collaborative divorce that I recommend to clients, depending on the circumstances. In order of cost-savings over traditional litigation, the options are: (1) mediation; (2) the collaborative team process; and (3) two attorneys working together cooperatively as settlement counsel, with the assistance of a mediator on an “as needed” basis.
The Boston Law Cooperative, a multidisciplinary group of lawyers and other professionals, recently analyzed 199 of its divorce cases. The study found that divorce mediation cost an average of $6,600, followed by an average of $19,723 for divorces using a collaborative team of lawyers, financial analysts, mental health and child specialists. More expensive were lawyer-negotiated divorces ($26,830) while traditional divorce litigation ($77,746) is comparatively off the charts.
From my experience mediating over 100 divorces over the last few years and representing clients in collaborative divorces, the cost of mediation sounds about right while the expense of the collaborative team approach seems low. Like most things in this world, the menu choices for couples who truly want to “get it done” and move on with their lives without acrimony depend largely on how much support the couple needs.
As a divorce mediator, one of my most important roles is to manage the mediation efficiently. Mostly I see couples who prefer to work out their financial settlement and parenting plan by themselves, without lawyers present. One of my responsibilities is to make sure that both the wife and husband can find their respective voices to articulate their needs for the future.
Another money saver is the assignment of homework between mediation sessions. At the close of every mediation session, we schedule a next session and agree to homework to be done by husband and wife between sessions. For example, there might be a business/house appraisal to arrange or a child specialist to see for help on what the children need in a two-house parenting arrangement.
My mediation clients and I lead busy lives and we accommodate everyone’s scheduling needs with this caveat: no one is allowed to delay the mediation process without a good reason. In most cases, spouses conclude an overall agreement on the parenting plan, property settlement, and spousal maintenance in 4 to 8 months. This typically includes a detailed Separation Agreement reciting all of the agreements of the wife and husband.
For clients unable to find their voices and negotiate for themselves, even with my help, mediating with lawyers present or opting for the collaborative model is best. Having lawyers present and gathering information to bring to the mediation table obviously raises the costs of mediation.
With the collaborative model, clients generally come to the collaborative lawyers first who then assemble a team of experts to help the couple with the financial and parenting content of their divorce. The collaborative team’s objective is to hold the divorcing couple and their family in a safe container so the couple can make good decisions about their property settlement and parenting agreement. As long as the clients are prepared for the additional costs of all this support, this model works. In the end, the couple feels empowered to co-create their divorce settlement and parenting plan with the support of the collaborative lawyers and other professionals.
Spending an hour with an experienced family mediator/collaborative counselor-at-law can help illuminate how much support is needed as the couple negotiates a divorce settlement, as well as the costs involved in choosing one or another of these options. Dedicated as most of us are to collaboration between spouses considering divorce, I suspect that most collaborative professionals would welcome email or phone inquiries from spouses and couples uncertain as to which option is the best for them.
