Divorce 101: Some Basics to Know

It is often the case that the basics of the divorce process are not so basic for people who have not been through the experience. Unfortunately, sometimes people don’t even ask for help because of misconceptions they may have.

How do I begin a divorce case?

The first legal step is to file a “petition for dissolution” (that’s what the initial step is called in Washington and many other states). This petition only requires very basic information – identification of the parties and the children. Remember, this is a public record available to any curious eye. You do not need to list all of your assets, debts, or other such personal information. Moreover, if you engage in a cooperative divorce, you may never need to make personal information public. 

It may appear self-serving to state that you really should consult an attorney, but you really should. If your case is truly very simple, it won’t cost that much and you will avoid some real potential aggravation. It is great to order books or sweaters online, but that is not the way to file a divorce petition. Some of these online services can create future ramifications that will require extra time, money, and aggravation. In any event, filing online is not any faster or easier than filing locally.

What if my spouse won’t agree to a divorce?

Your spouse does not need to agree. One side states that the marriage is “irretrievably broken” and therefore it is. The other person may disagree or wish it weren’t so, but he or she will eventually realize that the divorce will occur. Often after this realization, the “responding” party will agree to participate in a cooperative divorce. I often meet people who are concerned that a spouse “won’t sign the papers”; however, the other party’s signature is not required.

How long does it take to get a divorce?

There is a 90-day waiting period that must pass between filing the petition and obtaining a final decree. Nothing happens automatically at the end of 90 days, however. If all the issues of property, support, and parenting have been resolved, one of the parties can obtain the decree on the 91st day. Often it takes the parties much longer to resolve all of the issues. Sometimes a cooperating couple will file the petition so the 90-day period begins to run, even though they expect the negotiations to take longer. If they don’t resolve the issues themselves and expect a judge to decide everything, it can take almost a year and sometimes longer. 

I don’t know where my spouse is.

You can still get a divorce. There are alternatives your attorney can pursue to meet the requirement for proper service. This is definitely not an area for a do-it-yourself divorce. There are very strict procedures that need to be followed, but attorneys are familiar with these requirements. If you own property with your spouse, you will definitely want to have this taken care of before you try to sell or refinance your home so that you won’t be caught in a time crunch.

How can I learn more?

Most divorce attorneys (generally referred to as family law attorneys) will provide a no-cost or low-cost consultation – in person or over the phone. Then you will be able to make more informed decisions.