The easy answer is that you can get a divorce without a lawyer, but would you really want to do it? The paperwork is complex and could be overwhelming; moreover, you are taking an important step that has legal consequences that could affect you years later. Most people have more productive ways of spending their time other than getting their own legal education at a time of emotional distress. There is no need to be “penny wise and pound foolish” when there are so many choices depending on your situation. A consultation, often at no charge, will help you determine the best option for you.

Scenario One: Short-term marriage, no kids, no property

Instead of getting bogged down in the paper process, you can hire a lawyer on a limited basis. You could bring all of your information to the lawyer to draft the documents for you. You could opt to have the lawyer present the documents to the court for you, or you could get instructions for completing them yourself. Ask your lawyer if she would agree to this type of “limited representation.”

Scenario Two: Kids and property but no issues; everyone is in agreement

Even though you are in complete agreement and think there are no issues, there may be important issues you overlooked and others of which you are unaware. Missing them now could lead to problems years down the road. For example, problems may arise in the way a retirement account was handled, property was transferred, or the way in which a parenting plan or child support order was written.

A problem that sometimes arises years later is that one of the spouses has second thoughts and wants to overturn the decree. If the decree is carefully drafted and the parties are well-informed, this is less likely to happen.

By getting the assistance of a lawyer, you can be sure that all issues are addressed and that all documents are properly drafted. A lawyer cannot represent both parties, but you can discuss options to handle the matter efficiently and economically.

Scenario Three: There are issues, but you would like to work with a neutral mediator

I often emphasize that a mediated divorce saves money and emotional trauma to both parties and the children. An attorney-mediator can help you resolve various issues such as the parenting plan for your children, support, and property division. The attorney can then prepare all the necessary legal documents and complete your divorce – often at a flat fee that is far less that either party would spend on hiring a lawyer to go to court.

Scenario Four: Complex issues, little agreement, but you really want to avoid the “divorce wars”

A fairly new concept, collaborative law, is gaining momentum across the country and has been featured on television and in publications such as Money Magazine. In this model, both parties engage a lawyer, but everyone agrees not to go to court. This way, both parties have an advocate to represent their interests but do so in a collaborative, rather than an adversarial, manner. Other experts can also be retained, such as financial advisors, business valuation experts, and mental health professionals. Everyone works as a team to achieve the best outcome possible.

Couples engaged in a collaborative divorce probably spend one-third as much on legal fees as those in a conventional divorce. Another benefit is that once the parties reach resolution, they will probably not have ongoing battles over child custody and support, as flexibility and problem-solving are anticipated and built into the process.

When seeking a divorce through collaborative law, it is important that both parties find lawyers who are trained in this process. An attorney trained in collaborative law can provide a list of other trained attorneys who can represent the other party. An Internet search will give you more information in this important new process.

Scenario Five: Domestic violence, substance abuse, or one spouse is an emotional bully

If any of these factors exist in the marriage, it is probably best to engage an attorney for a traditional litigated divorce. Most attorneys who practice mediation or collaborative law recognize when a party needs vigorous advocacy and will provide such when necessary. These are attorneys who will be less likely to fan the flames and make the situation even more heated.