In an ideal divorce situation, the two parents will sit down and will agree on a custody arrangement by working together. The two parents may do this on their own, with the help of lawyers, by working with a collaborative divorce coach or by consulting with a third party mediator who can help facilitate an agreement. All of these options are far preferable to letting the court decide. If a court gets involved, not only do you totally give up autonomy and put a very personal decision in the hands of a judge, but things also get much more expensive since you now each have to present a case in court. Still, if you truly cannot decide child custody any other way, the court will decide for you based on the child custody guidelines set forth in your state.
Understanding Child Custody Guidelines and Custody Rules
The child custody guidelines differ slightly from state to state, but in each state, the main aim is to make sure that the court decides which parent should be the custodial parent based on what is in the best interests of the child. The court will consider a number of different guidelines and factors in order to best determine what is in the child's best interests. Normally, much testimony and evidence will be reviewed, including witness statements, and a guardian ad litem may even be appointed to represent the child. The court's purpose in reviewing all this information will be to determine:
- Which parent can provide the most solid, stable and loving home life for the child
- Which parent is most willing to facilitate allowing the child to maintain family ties, not only with the other parent but also with extended family
- Which parent has provided the primary bulk of childcare over the course of the life of the child
- Whether either parent has some disabling factors that makes him unable to provide the best environment or home life, such as a history of abuse or neglect; an addiction; or a mental illness
Provided neither parent has any serious flaws or problems, the court will try to keep both parents in the child's life in most cases. They may do this by awarding one parent the primary custodial parent and giving the other visitation, or they may award joint custody in which each parent has custody of the child for half the time (or close to half the time).
Getting Help
If you are going through a divorce, especially if it involves a court battle over custody, you will need to get the help of a qualified attorney. Your lawyer can explain to you the child custody guidelines in your state and can assist you in convincing the court that you are the right person to be named the custodial parent for your child.
