When couples get divorced and they have kids, child custody agreements are usually the most important element of the divorce settlement. A child custody agreement dictates who will have access to the child when and how custody will be shared. When you are going through a divorce, you have a few choices in regards to how to come to a child custody agreement and a few different potential arrangements that can be in that agreement.
Negotiating Child Custody Agreements
When it comes to making an agreement on who will have access to the children and what the custody arrangement will be, there are two main ways you can approach the issue:
- You can make a commitment to settle your custody issues and draft an agreement with your spouse out of court. Whether you two do this on your own, with the help of attorneys or by working with a mediator or other third party professional, this is usually the absolute best way to come to a custody agreement in the vast majority of divorces. If you make your own custody agreement outside of court, it is far more likely to work for your family and to reflect the needs of you and your children than if you leave it up to a judge to decide.
- You can submit the issue to an arbitrator or a judge who will create the custody agreement for you. The agreement made by the judge or arbitrator will be binding and you will have to comply (or petition the court for a change). When the court makes the decision for you, they consider what is in the best interests of the child and look at a number of factors including who has acted as the child's primary caregiver in the past and what type of home life each parent can provide. While the aim of this process is to make sure the child is properly taken care of, this still results in a third party making decisions that may not be right for anyone in your family.
When you do draft your child custody agreement, regardless of whether the court makes the decision or you do, you will have to decide between:
- Primary custody: The child spends most of his time with one parent and visits the other
- Joint custody: The child splits his time somewhat equally between both parents
- Sole custody: This is usually appropriate only if there has been some abuse or neglect, and you may need to go to court to get sole custody unless your spouse is willing to give up his or her rights voluntarily
Getting Help
Child custody agreements are extremely important as they can dramatically affect the lives of children involved in the divorce. You need to have the help of a qualified and experienced divorce attorney to help you protect not only your rights, but also your child's rights and interests in the divorce.
