I Won't See You in Florida Divorce Court

Imagine a divorce process where the parties and their attorneys sign a written agreement not to go to court. Such an agreement is one of the foundations of the rapidly growing movement known as the collaborative divorce process. This movement is having profound impact – financial and emotional – on families around the world.

One of the most common regrets I’ve heard from divorced people is, “I wish I’d focused more on how I wanted to live my life after the divorce.” Although divorce can be a painful experience to go through, the collaborative divorce process is designed to look forward.

The collaborative divorce process:

• Promotes respect
• Puts the needs of your children first
• Keeps control of the process with you
• Uses your family’s resources effectively

In the collaborative divorce process, you’ll work as a team with professionals trained to resolve family disputes respectfully, without going to court.

While collaborative lawyers are always a part of the collaborative divorce team, other professionals are added to the team, based on your family’s situation. Other potential team members include:

• Financial specialists
• Child specialists
• Communication specialists/facilitators
• Mental health professionals
• Divorce coaches

Preliminary research indicates that the cost savings associated with resolving disputes collaboratively are enormous. Some have seen savings as much as 30% to 50% compared to contested litigation and a trial – a true win for all parties involved.

You can start the collaborative process with the professional you feel most comfortable with. Later you can choose the other professionals you’ll need. So if your questions are mostly financial, you could start the collaborative divorce process by choosing a financial professional to evaluate your circumstances and suggest equitable distribution (property division) options.

On the other hand, if your questions have to do with your children, you could begin the process by choosing a child specialist – a counselor, pediatrician, educational consultant or mental health professional. Perhaps one of you has had substance abuse or other addiction issues. You may want to begin with a mental health or Certified Addictions Professional (C.A.P.) to ensure clear behavioral guidelines are in place before you go any further in the process.

There are several models of collaborative law, but all of them share four core elements. These elements are written into a Participation Agreement, a contract, signed by you and your chosen collaborative professionals to:

• Negotiate a mutually acceptable settlement without using a court to decide any issues
• Agree that the professionals withdraw if either of you goes to court
• Encourage open communication and information sharing
• Create shared solutions that consider the highest priorities of both spouses

The collaborative divorce process is designed to allow each of you to be independently represented, while maintaining the commitment to settlement as the sole agenda. Once an agreement is reached, it is drafted by the lawyers and one party files the necessary paperwork in court and attends a short final hearing.

More importantly, the process allows your family to maintain dignity, respect, and privacy during this transitional time in life. It keeps your family’s business out of the court system and focuses on resolving issues with an eye toward the future. That’s why you should be saying, “I won’t see you in court” and use the collaborative process for your Florida divorce.