How to Gain Child Custody During Divorce

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Determining who will gain child custody during a divorce situation can be one of the most stressful moments of your life.  For years you have nurtured and cared for this child, and in the case of a mother, you actually carried this child inside your body and gave it life, and now there is the possibility that someone else will be responsible for the primary care of your child, and you will be just a visitor in their lives.  How can you go about gaining custody of your child in a divorce proceeding, and what steps can you take to make sure that you receive as much time with your child as possible?

Tips on How to Gain Child Custody

  • The first step to gaining custody of your child in a divorce situation is to begin gathering the data that will prove that you have more capacity to take care of the child financially, emotionally, and physically than the other spouse.  
  • Of course you will need to prove that you have enough income to support a home and the child as well as to provide food, medicine, clothing, and other necessities. 
  • You can also begin to document all of the things that you do for the child that will be more difficult for your former spouse to do, whether it is picking the child up for daycare and taking the child to daycare during the day, or making sure that the child has a ride home from school.  By documenting your care of the child, you will stand a better chance of getting custody.
  • You may also want to document the current support that you provide the child, such as how much you spend each month on food, or how much you spend on other necessary items for your child.  By proving that you are the primary caregiver of the child, you are more likely to be seen as the person who has the best interests of the child at heart, which is a major factor in the determinations made by divorce courts when awarding custody.  
  • If the child is older, you may want to talk to the child about where they want to live, because once the child reaches a certain age, the wishes of the child become a determining factor in where the child is placed.

Of course, the best thing you can do to get custody is to have a frank, honest discussion with your former spouse, and work out a marital settlement plan that includes a custody and visitation agreement. It’s always better to try to work things out yourself and present them to the court so that your wishes are met, because the courts will make decisions based on data, not based on what you and your spouse know about your children.

Getting Help

When you are trying to gain child custody during divorce, you need to get an experienced divorce attorney to help you. Your attorney can explain the laws in your state and can assist you in building a strong argument that you are the best person to have custody of the child.


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