We have decided to get a divorce. Does it matter if I file or if my wife does?

In a marriage dissolution, the one who files first has the advantage of deciding the governing jurisdiction (if the two parties live in different states). The petitioner also decides the reason on which the divorce will be based; this matters in a state where both no-fault and at-fault divorces are allowed. Despite this advantage, the filing party must provide timely and proper notice and the other party will be allowed to answer as well as dispute any element alleged.

Divorce Facts for Men

Approximately 70 percent of all divorces are initiated by women based on the following:

• Irreconcilable differences
• Infidelity by the husband
• Financial struggles caused by the husband
• Inability or no desire to work through the problems

Filing First

Who files first matters for the following reasons:

• The person filing first often controls how quickly the divorce proceeds.
• The person filing divorce choose the basis for the divorce. The answering party will be allowed to dispute this.
• The person initiating the divorce may be allowed to request that the other party pay for half or more of the fees associated with the filing.
• The person who files for the divorce the one who documents the facts he or she believes surround the divorce. Again, the other party is given an opportunity to dispute these facts.

The best scenario for a divorce filing is when both parties discuss the dissolution and the filing represents both interests and desire. A filing that is unilaterally initiated and comes as a "surprise" to the other party may cause resentment that may continue to exist throughout the whole process. To avoid unnecessary rancor, talk with an experienced divorce attorney about filing for divorce.