Finding and Hiring a Divorce Lawyer

Divorce is one of the most stressful life events a person can experience, second only to the death of a spouse, according to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale.

Divorce is stressful because it causes emotional, financial, and legal upheaval. Whether you're dealing with disputes over child custody, property division, or alimony (spousal support), a divorce lawyer can make the experience more manageable. This five-step guide will help you find and hire the right divorce lawyer.

What Do Divorce Lawyers Do?

There are many advantages to working with a divorce lawyer. A skilled lawyer will:

• protect your legal rights and interests
• explain all relevant divorce laws and how they apply to your situation
• prepare, file, and serve all the necessary divorce paperwork
• identify and value marital and separate property
• find hidden assets
• calculate child support
• help you negotiate or mediate a fair divorce settlement agreement, and
• advocate for you in court if necessary.

Do You Need to Hire a Divorce Lawyer?

You aren't required to hire a lawyer to get a divorce. Many people don't want (or can't afford) to work with a lawyer. You might be able to represent yourself if your divorce is uncontested and you and your spouse are willing to work together and compromise.

However, there are some situations when hiring a divorce lawyer might be wise, including when:

• your divorce involves complicated financial issues
• you are involved in a contested or fault divorce
• you are fighting over child custody
• your spouse has already hired a lawyer, or
• there's a history of domestic violence or abuse in the relationship.

Even if your divorce seems straightforward, having legal representation ensures you don't overlook important details and allows you to focus on taking care of yourself during a challenging time.

Take our free quiz to find out whether getting professional legal help makes sense for you.

5 Steps to Finding a Divorce Lawyer

Once you've decided to hire a lawyer, you'll have to find the right one for your case. Like any profession, not all lawyers are equally qualified. And not all well-qualified lawyers will be a good fit for your style and personality. Follow these steps to find and hire the right divorce lawyer for your situation.

Step 1: Figure Out Your Legal Needs and Goals

Before you start your search, think about your priorities and end goal. Understanding your needs will help you find a lawyer with the right experience and approach.

For example, if you have to co-parent with your soon-to-be-ex, you might look for a lawyer who specializes in collaborative divorce. If you're involved in a high-stakes, high-conflict breakup, focus on finding a lawyer with extensive trial experience who won't back down from a fight. If you suspect your spouse is hiding assets, look for a lawyer with a roster of private investigators and forensic accountants who can help you uncover the truth.

Step 2: Research Potential Divorce Lawyers

Put together a list of divorce lawyers in your area. Divorce laws vary by state, so it's important to hire someone familiar with the rules where you live. Here are some ways to get your search started:

• Ask for referrals. USA Today reports that 41% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages, and 70% of third marriages end in divorce. In other words, divorce is a difficult but common experience. Chances are, you have friends, family members, coworkers, or neighbors who are divorced and can recommend divorce lawyers they trust. If you know any lawyers, ask who they would hire to handle their own divorce. Even lawyers who don't practice family law themselves might have gone to school with someone who does or know of a divorce lawyer with an excellent reputation in the local legal community.
• Search online. Most people conduct research online before making a purchase, and buying legal services is no different. Top legal directories, such as Findlaw, Nolo, Super Lawyer, and Lawyers.com, offer searchable databases of prescreened attorneys and law firms in your area who specialize in divorce.
• AI-powered tools. AI can assist you in your search for a good divorce lawyer. AI-powered search engines like Perplexity can help you quickly gather background information about potential lawyers and analyze online reviews. But AI isn't a substitute for a human lawyer or human judgment, so be sure to verify all information provided by AI.
• Check bar association directories. Many state and local bar associations have lawyer referral services that will connect you with a local lawyer who handles the type of legal problem you have.
• Legal aid organizations. You might be eligible for free or low-cost legal help if you meet certain criteria. LawHelp.org offers a state-by-state search to connect you with resources in your area.

Before you meet with any lawyers, confirm that they are licensed and in good standing with the State Bar.

Step 3: Schedule Several Consultations

Most divorce lawyers offer potential clients an initial consultation for free or at a reduced cost. Use this initial meeting to get a sense of whether the lawyer is a good fit for your needs.

To get the most out of your consultation, you should prepare a list of questions to ask the lawyer before you commit and be prepared to discuss your most pressing concerns and priorities (such as who gets the family home, how to create a custody agreement, and how to calculate alimony).

Pay attention to how the lawyer answers your questions. Does the lawyer listen to your concerns and candidly answer your questions? Can you see yourself working closely with this person? You'll have to talk openly about your personal life and finances, so be sure you find someone you are comfortable with.

Step 4: Talk About Legal Fees and Other Expenses

During your initial consultation, you'll want to discuss your budget and the lawyer's fees. Most divorce lawyers charge by the hour, billed in increments of six minutes (one-tenth of an hour).

According to Clio, a legal technology company, the national average hourly rate for a family law lawyer in 2024 was $314. Your lawyer's hourly rate might be higher or lower based on many factors, including your location and the lawyer's expertise in family law.

You might have to pay a deposit, called a retainer, before the lawyer will start working on your case. The lawyer's hourly fee will be subtracted from the retainer. If the retainer starts to run out, you'll have to add more money.

The lawyer will also charge you for other divorce expenses, such as filing fees, copying fees, real estate appraisals, and other expert witness fees. These costs can add up quickly, so be sure to talk about everything up front so you aren't blindsided by unexpected bills.

In some cases, a divorce lawyer might agree to charge a fixed fee to help a client with a clearly defined part of the case, such as reviewing a separation agreement or preparing for child custody mediation. This is called "limited scope representation" or "unbundled legal services."

Any fee agreement you reach must be in writing. Carefully review all bills the lawyer sends you for accuracy and to see how your money is being spent. If you have questions, ask the lawyer to explain any charges you don't understand.

Step 5: Make Your Decision

After meeting with several lawyers and reviewing their qualifications, you'll have the information you need to make your decision. Choose a lawyer who:

• has the necessary skills and experience to handle your case
• communicates clearly and will keep you informed about the case, and
• offers a fee structure that fits your budget.

Remember, you'll be working closely with your lawyer. Trust your instincts and choose someone you feel confident you can rely on and are comfortable confiding in.

Tips for Working with Your Divorce Lawyer

Once you've hired a lawyer, here are some tips to ensure a smooth working relationship:

• Be open and honest. Your lawyer needs to know all relevant information—good and bad—to effectively represent you. Any advice your lawyer gives you based on inaccurate or incomplete information is going to be inadequate at best and harmful at worst.
• Be prepared and organized. Keep organized records of all documents in your case, such as financial records and court filings. Review important documents before meetings, calls, and court appearances. Write down questions as they come and bundle them before reaching out instead of sending multiple messages. Staying organized will save you time, reduce costs, and ensure nothing gets overlooked.
• Communicate the right way. Settle on a preferred method of communication with your lawyer—email, text, phone, or in-person meetings. Respond promptly to your lawyer's communications and keep your lawyer updated on any changes in your situation.
• Listen to legal advice. Your lawyer works for you, but remember that you hired a lawyer for a reason. Allow your lawyer to protect your interests and objectively guide you toward an outcome that aligns with your goals.

Mistakes to Avoid When Hiring a Lawyer

When hiring a divorce lawyer, avoid these common pitfalls:

• Not doing enough research. Don't hire the first lawyer you find. Take the time to compare options and choose the best fit for your needs.
• Hiring based on price alone. Cheaper isn't always better when it comes to legal services. An experienced lawyer might charge more per hour, but require fewer hours overall to resolve your divorce. On the other hand, a high hourly rate doesn't guarantee high-quality representation either. Focus on value rather than price.
• Overlooking compatibility and communication style. The lawyer-client relationship is a partnership. To be good partners, you and your lawyer need to have a good rapport and be on the same page about your objectives and how you want to reach them.
• Ignoring red flags. If a lawyer guarantees a particular outcome, refuses to break down fees and costs, or seems unresponsive, disorganized, or rushed, trust your gut and walk away.

When You Might Be Able to Represent Yourself in a Divorce

While hiring a divorce lawyer is often the best approach, it isn't always possible. Many people simply can't afford to pay a lawyer's fees or fear that hiring a lawyer will prolong the divorce and escalate conflict.

You can represent yourself in a divorce (sometimes called "pro se representation"), but you'll have to:

• follow the family law code and rules in your state and county
• find and complete all of the necessary court forms
• properly serve your spouse with the divorce forms
• negotiate a divorce settlement agreement or go to trial, and
• finalize your divorce.

Many courts provide self-help resources, including forms and instructions, for individuals representing themselves in divorce cases. If you're comfortable navigating these resources, you might not need a lawyer.

Self-representation works best when you are filing an uncontested, no-fault divorce involving no children and minimal assets and debts.

If you're unsure whether you can handle your divorce on your own, consider consulting with a lawyer. As noted above, a lawyer who offers "unbundled" or "limited-scope services" might be able to help you with a specific part of your divorce for a price you can afford while you manage the rest on your own.

Next Steps

Getting a divorce can feel overwhelming, but finding and hiring a divorce lawyer doesn't have to be. Use this five-step guide to find a professional who will lead you through the process and protect your interests. The right lawyer can make a difficult time a little easier, giving you the support and confidence you need to move forward.