Joint Child Custody: Do the Advantages Outweigh the Disadvantages?

When parents are splitting up, child custody is often the most emotional and difficult issue they'll have to address. Traditionally—at least throughout the 19th and 20th centuries—most children of divorce ended up living with their mothers, while the fathers had visitation on some weekends and holidays. In recent decades, there's been a marked shift in child custody arrangements—but the trend isn't so much toward awarding sole custody to more fathers. Instead, more and more parents are sharing custody after divorce.

Joint custody may not be right for every family, but it has many advantages for children and parents alike.

What Is Joint Custody?

Before we define joint custody, it's important to understand the rights and responsibilities that go into child custody in general. When parents of minor children divorce, they'll need to get court orders addressing how they'll handle parenting once the family is no longer living together. Unmarried parents may also seek custody orders when they split up (or never lived together).

There are two types of child custody: legal and physical custody.

• Legal custody refers to the parents' authority to make important decisions about their children's lives, including medical and health care, education, organized sports and other extracurricular activities, and religious upbringing. Some states use different terms for legal custody, such as decision-making responsibility—or even "managing conservatorship" (in Texas).
• Physical custody deals with where the children live most of the time—with one parent or both. Here again, some states have different terms for physical custody, such as parenting time, time-sharing, or physical placement.

There are different ways parents can share—or not share—each type of child custody:

• Sole legal and physical custody. Under this arrangement—often simply called sole custody—one parent has the right to make unilateral decisions about the child's life without consulting the other parent, and the child will live full-time with that parent. In most cases, however, the other parent will have visitation rights—meaning a certain amount of parenting time with the child.
• Joint legal custody and sole physical custody. With this allocation of custody rights, the child lives primarily with the custodial parent, while the noncustodial parent has visitation or parenting time. At the same time, however, the parents share decision-making authority—meaning they must consult with each other and agree on important child-related decisions. Nonetheless, the custodial parent may make day-to-day decisions like scheduling routine doctor's appointments.
• Joint legal and physical custody. In this setup, parents share decision-making responsibility—and the child lives with each of them for a significant amount of time. Although it's not a legal term, some people call this "dual custody."

When parents or lawyers talk about joint or shared custody, they usually mean the parents share both legal and physical custody. That's because judges rarely award joint physical custody without also awarding joint legal custody.

How Does Joint Custody Work?

States have different definitions of joint custody—also called shared custody, shared parenting, or similar terms. For example:

• Sometimes joint custody means the parents have approximately equal time with the child (as in Georgia)—but it doesn't necessarily mean an exact 50/50 custody split.
• In Nevada, joint custody means each parent has the child at least 40% of the time (146 days in the year).
• Other states don't set a numerical threshold for shared parenting in their custody laws. Even so, their child support guidelines may define shared custody—in terms of percentage or number of overnights per year—for adjustments to the parents' support obligation (more on that below).

Whatever the exact split of parenting time, joint custody means that children frequently go back and forth between their parents. The specifics will depend on the parenting plan—whether the parents work out their own plan or a judge comes up with a schedule for them (more on that below). Typically, the children will live with each parent on different days of the week or different weeks. There are many ways to divide up that time. Some typical shared parenting schedules include:

• alternate weeks with each parent
• four nights a week with Parent A and three nights with Parent B, or
• two nights with Parent A, two nights with Parent B, three nights with Parent A, and so forth.

The parents (or a judge) will also need to decide how to share parenting time during school vacations, holidays, and birthdays.

Pros and Cons of Joint Custody

Joint custody is an increasingly popular option for divorced parents, and there are many reasons for this trend. But there are potential drawbacks as well as benefits.

Benefits of Joint Custody

A shared co-parenting arrangement can have many benefits for both the children and parents, including:

• Adjustment to post-divorce family life. According to research reported by the American Psychological Association, children are more likely to be well-adjusted after divorce when they spend significant time with both parents, compared to kids in sole-custody arrangements. Among other measures of well-being, they tend to have fewer behavior problems, better educational performance, and better overall family relationships. However, other researchers have pointed out that these studies often don't distinguish between cases when parents have agreed to joint custody and cases when judges have imposed that arrangement over one parent's objection.
• Good role models. When children see their divorced parents working together and communicating well—despite problems in the marriage that led to their breakup—the kids can see how it's possible to work through disagreements, solve problems, and cooperate—all of which will help them in the rest of their lives.
• Different parental strengths. Children can benefit from access to their parents' different strengths and interests. For instance, one parent may be better at helping with math homework, while the other parent is more likely to take an active part in a child's participation in gymnastics or other sports.
• Shared parental responsibilities. Being a single parent can be hard. With joint custody, the parents can benefit from sharing the responsibilities and burdens of child-rearing.

Potential Drawbacks of Joint Custody

Despite the widely recognized benefits of shared custody, it can be challenging for parents and children alike. The potential downsides include:

• Scheduling. The logistics of joint custody can be daunting—including a lot of scheduling, coordination, transportation, and organization. Even after you've worked out a schedule that accommodates both parents' work and other commitments—as well as the children's regular activities—you'll inevitably have to deal with unexpected changes. Frequent requests for scheduling changes can create more opportunities for arguments.
• Potential for disruption. Most shared custody arrangements involve frequent back-and-forth between the parents' homes. Some children don't do well with that. They may not feel like they have a home, and it can be hard to keep up the routines that make kids (especially young ones) feel safe and grounded.
• Cost. It's expensive for both parents to maintain separate homes for their children—which usually means owning or renting a home with extra bedrooms. Some states account for this expense in their child support guidelines (more on that below). But those adjustments won't necessarily make up for the additional costs—which means that joint custody might not be feasible for some lower-income parents.

Do Courts Prefer Joint Custody?

Unless you and your co-parent have agreed on a parenting plan (more on that below), a judge will decide on your custody arrangements, based on what's in the child's best interests. The laws in many states make it clear that it's in a child's best interests to have frequent and continuing contact with both parents, except in circumstances when that would be harmful—such as when a parent has been abusive.

The goal of "frequent and continuing contact" doesn't always mean that judges will favor joint custody. States take different approaches to this question. For example:

• Generally, there's a strong preference for joint legal custody, unless one parent shows that the other one isn't able to make sound, reasonable decisions for the child—such as when a parent suffers from serious, untreated mental illness. This follows the lead of the U.S. Supreme Court, which has held that courts must presume fit parents will make decisions that are in a child's best interests. (Troxel v. Granville, 530 U.S. 57 (2000).)
• Most states require judges to consider a list of circumstances in each case when they're deciding which parenting arrangements will be in a child's best interests. Sometimes, there are additional, specific considerations when judges are deciding whether to award joint physical custody. Still, the final decision is up to the judge.
• In a few states, judges must presume that it's best for kids when their parents share joint legal and physical custody—unless the evidence proves otherwise. In New Mexico, that presumption doesn't necessarily mean equal parenting time. Instead, joint custody means each parent will have "significant, well-defined periods of responsibility for the child." But in Missouri, judges will presume that equal or approximately equal parenting time is in the children's best interests, unless the parents have agreed to another arrangement or there's been a pattern of domestic violence. (N.M. Stat. § 40-4-9.1; Mo. Rev. Stat. § 452.375.2(2025).)
• In some other states (like California), judges will presume that joint legal and physical custody is best for kids only when their parents have agreed to that arrangement. (Cal. Fam. Code § 3080 (2025).)

Is Joint Custody Right for You and Your Kids?

Instead of having a judge impose custody arrangements after a trial, most parents work out their own parenting plan (more on that below). Before agreeing to shared custody, however, you should make a realistic assessment of your circumstances—including your relationship with your co-parent, your living situations and finances, and your children's needs—to see if this level of co-parenting is right for you and your kids.

When Joint Custody Isn't a Good Idea

Several circumstances make joint custody inadvisable or unworkable, including:

• Difficulties with communication and cooperation. Joint custody could lead to years of disputes and problems if you and your co-parent can't manage to cooperate and communicate—at least reasonably well—about your children. Notice those last three words: "about your children." Not surprisingly, the same communication problems or other disagreements that led to the end of your marriage won't magically go away after you're divorced. That includes any serious, ongoing conflict over issues like religious upbringing. Some parents can learn how to set those conflicts aside when it comes to parenting, but doing that can be a challenge—especially when there's been a lot of bitterness and fighting in your relationship, or when one parent has a pattern of coercive and controlling behavior.
• Potential harm to the kids. As we've emphasized, the top priority in all custody decisions is what's best for the children. So joint custody is never a good idea if staying with one parent could pose a risk to the child—for instance, because of a history of domestic violence, child abuse, or a parent's ongoing substance abuse. However, a parent's criminal record doesn't necessarily rule out getting joint custody, depending on the particular circumstances.
• Long distances. If you and your co-parent live far apart, it's not practical for the kids to go back and forth frequently. Even if you live in the same city or county, an hour-long car trip to exchange your child can be wearing for everyone involved. When you have two or more children, distance can increase the difficulty of juggling everyone's schedules—especially as older adolescents get involved in more after-school and weekend activities. And if the parents live in different regions, most joint custody arrangements are simply out of reach. (Still, parenting plans can ensure that the noncustodial parent gets a significant amount of time with the child during the summer and other school vacations.)
• Complicated work requirements. It can throw a monkey wrench in co-parenting plans when one or both parents have unpredictable work schedules or are required to travel frequently for their jobs.
• Special needs. The fact that a child has special educational or medical needs doesn't rule out joint custody. On the contrary, it's usually an advantage to have both parents actively involved in helping these kids through the challenges in their lives. But if one parent doesn't have the time, interest, or ability to provide for their children's special needs, joint custody would probably not be in the child's best interests.
• Your child's objection. You should think twice about the idea of joint custody if your child doesn't want to live part-time with you or your co-parent. Children don't have veto power over their parents' custody plans. But it's usually not a good idea to force kids—especially older adolescents—into a shared parenting arrangement they strongly oppose. You might be able to get to the bottom of the issue by listening to what's behind their objections—perhaps with the help of a family counselor. Be aware that if you don't agree on a parenting plan, the laws in your state may allow the judge to consider your child's custody preference—if the child is mature enough to have a reasonable opinion on the issue.

Tips for Making Joint Custody Work

There are several things you can do to increase your chances of successful joint custody—both when you're working out an agreement and later, when you're carrying out the plan.

• Details, details. Having a detailed, comprehensive co-parenting plan can help you avoid future disagreements. When you're creating a custody agreement, be sure it covers all the details, including how you and your co-parent will communicate about custody issues (such as by text), how you'll handle drop-offs and pick-ups, and how you'll resolve any disputes about your children (such as through mediation). Be aware that some states (such as Florida and Ohio) have specific requirements for parenting plans, so check your state's custody laws.
• Avoid bad-mouthing. Don't disparage your co-parent in front of your child. Not only is that harmful to your child, but you could find yourself being accused of parental alienation, which might lead to your losing custody. If you're having trouble separating your unresolved feelings about your ex from your co-parenting, try counseling or a divorced parents' group.
• Communication skills. Do what you can to learn effective communication skills, including active listening. If you're triggered by a text or email from your ex, wait a few minutes before responding.
• Flexibility. Aim to be as flexible as you can when your ex or child needs to change something in the parenting schedule. Pick your battles, and don't sweat the small stuff.
• Consistency. Work with your ex on establishing common behavioral guidelines, as well as reasonably consistent schedules for your kids in both homes. Respect each other's disciplinary measures, as long as they're reasonable.
• Address problems promptly. If your child is refusing to cooperate with the parenting schedule, let your ex know right away what's going on, try to find out what's behind the refusal by listening openly to your child, and—if nothing else works—see if you can adjust the parenting schedule to address your child's concerns.

How to Get Joint Custody

You can request joint custody when you file for divorce or respond to your spouse's divorce petition. Outside of the divorce context, you can also make this request as part of a separate custody case.

If you and your spouse agree on a joint custody arrangement, you'll need to submit your signed, written agreement for a judge's approval—either with your divorce petition or at any point during the legal proceedings. Without an agreement, you'll need to go to trial and present evidence to convince the judge that shared custody would be best for your child under the specific circumstances of your case. (Learn more about preparing for a child custody case.)

When Joint Custody No Longer Works

If you already have joint custody with your ex, you might confront changes in your lives that make that arrangement unworkable, such as when one parent plans to move a considerable distance away. The requirements for modifying child custody vary somewhat from state to state. But in general, you'll need to show that there's been a significant change in circumstances since your existing custody order was issued, and that the modification you're seeking would be in your child's best interests.

Who Pays Child Support When Parents Have Joint Custody?

All U.S. states have child support guidelines for calculating the appropriate amount of parents' support obligations for their kids. When one parent has primary physical custody, the noncustodial parent typically pays child support, while the custodial parent meets their share of the support obligation by paying directly for the child's daily expenses.

When parents share physical custody of their children, the guidelines in several states have either built-in adjustments or separate calculations for child support. As well as figuring the amount of each parent's support obligation, these adjustments may also determine which parent will have to pay child support.

The details for how this works—as well as the amount of parenting time that qualifies for the shared custody adjustments—vary from state to state. For instance:

• The child support guidelines in Florida include an adjustment when each parent has the child or children for at least 20% of overnights during the year.
• Louisiana has a separate worksheet for calculating child support when the parents have physical custody of their children for approximately the same amount of time. New Jersey also has a separate worksheet in cases of shared parenting, but each parent needs to have the child for only 28% of the time, as long as they also provide separate living accommodations for the child in their home.
• All child support calculations in California include the percentage of time each parent has primary physical responsibility for the child. There's no minimum threshold of overnights per year to have parenting time included in the calculation.

Some other states, such as Texas and Washington, don't include any automatic adjustments for shared parenting when calculating child support. Instead, parents in these states will have to convince a judge that child support should be different than the standard guideline calculation (usually known as a "deviation") because of the joint custody arrangement. Even when they agree on a deviation, they'll need to justify the agreed-on amount.

Alternative Custody Arrangements

Although more and more divorced parents are choosing joint custody, that's not the only alternative to the traditional arrangement in which one parent has primary physical custody. Depending on your circumstances, you might want to consider these options:

• Split custody. If you have more than one child, you and your ex could each have primary physical custody of at least one of your kids. Split custody may work well when children have different preferences or needs that one parent can meet better than the other. For instance, an adolescent boy may do better living with his father, while it would be better for his little sister to stay with her mom. One of the downsides to split custody is that it breaks up siblings—and relationships between siblings can be an important stabilizing influence after divorce.
• Birdnesting. A few separated or divorced parents may choose an unusual parenting arrangement in which their children stay in the family home while the parents rotate in and out of the home. Often called "birdnesting," "nesting divorce," or "bird's nest custody," this arrangement can be less disruptive for the children but a burden for the parents.

Getting Help With Joint Custody

If you're hoping to get joint custody of your children, your best path forward is to agree on a parenting plan rather than go through the stress, expense, and time that a custody trial takes. Nolo's book, Building a Parenting Agreement That Works, includes worksheets for creating a parenting plan and other information on how to arrive at a fair, workable agreement. And if you and your co-parent are having trouble reaching an agreement, custody mediation can help you find solutions that work for both of you, as well as for your kids.

Despite these resources, there are circumstances when you need a child custody lawyer, including when there's been recent or ongoing child abuse or domestic violence, or when you and your co-parent simply can't agree about custody or a custody modification.