The Divorce Checklist: 10 Steps to Prepare for Your Divorce

Going through a divorce can be one of the most disruptive and emotional events in life. A divorce checklist helps you organize the documents, financial accounts, and legal steps you need to prepare for your divorce.

Divorce Checklist

Use the sections below as your divorce checklist. Each step covers a different aspect of the divorce process, from gathering documents to protecting your finances and setting up separate households. You can work through each step in order or jump to the sections most relevant to your situation.

1. Consider Whether You Can Resolve Your Divorce Without Court

Think about whether you can work with your spouse to resolve all of your important divorce-related issues. These issues typically include:

• alimony (called “spousal support” or “spousal maintenance” in some states)
• property and debt division, and
• child support and custody.

If you and your spouse can agree on all of the issues in your case, you might be able to handle your divorce without lawyers. If your case is straightforward (for example, you have limited assets and no children), you could potentially use an online divorce service that provides the necessary forms for your state and helps you create a divorce settlement agreement that you can file with the court.

If you're close to an agreement on most issues, a private mediator might be able to help you cross the finish line. Mediators are neutral professionals who help couples find common ground and finalize their divorce judgment together.

If your positions are far apart on one or more issues, you're involved in a contested divorce and may end up having to go to trial. If you can afford it, you should explore hiring a lawyer.

2. Consider Whether You Need to Hire a Lawyer

No state requires you to hire a lawyer for your divorce, but it can make sense for the spouses to consult separate lawyers before beginning the divorce process or before signing off on a settlement agreement. Hiring attorneys will certainly increase your divorce cost, but in the end, it can also save you stress and protect your rights. If you're undecided, take our quiz for feedback on whether DIY divorce, private mediation, or hiring an attorney might make the most sense.

If you do decide to hire a lawyer, you’ll have to find your own attorney—you can't use your spouse's lawyer in your divorce. Family law attorneys can't ethically represent both spouses in a divorce case because that would be a conflict of interest. (Each spouse has separate interests to protect.)

3. If You Have Minor Children, Prepare for the New Parenting Arrangement

Divorcing parents have a lot to think about, but here's a good way to start:

• Sketch out a plan. Learn about your state’s custody process and begin creating a proposed custody plan, including each parent’s visitation with the children, holiday and school break schedules, and other special occasions.
• Create a calendar. Create a calendar where you can keep track of the children’s time with each parent. Include issues with communication, transportation (if applicable), canceled visits, or expenses you’ve paid.
• Learn about child support. Begin considering whether you will need to pay or receive child support after the divorce. If you need help paying bills while the divorce is pending, you can ask the court for a temporary support order when you file your petition or response.

4. Marriage Documents to Gather for Divorce

Here are some of the marriage-related paperwork and estate planning documents you'll need for divorce:

• Marriage license. Find your marriage license and place it in a secure location.
• Legal documents. Find copies of any prenuptial or postnuptial agreement. And gather all estate planning documents, such as wills, living wills, trust documents, powers of attorney, and advance healthcare directives.
• Life insurance policies. Gather copies of life insurance policies for both spouses.

5. Financial Documents You Need for Divorce

Here are some of the financial documents you'll need for divorce:

• Assets. Begin compiling a list of your joint assets, including vehicles, bank accounts, retirement accounts, stocks, bonds, and anything else you think might be relevant. Even though courts require both spouses to complete full financial disclosures, not all spouses make the process easy, so gathering as much information as possible at the start of the process can make things easier down the road. Specifically look for all types of account statements, such as brokerage, checking, and savings accounts. Be as detailed, comprehensive, and accurate as possible.
• Debts. Look for documentation of your debts, including mortgages, vehicle loans, credit card debt, medical bills, retirement plan loans, and student loans.
• Retirement plans. Gather all the information you can on any retirement or pension accounts that either spouse accrued during the marriage.
• Pay information. If you have access to your spouse’s W-2s or other paycheck information, make copies to provide that information to your attorney.
• Tax returns. Find copies of your joint tax returns for the last five years or more.
• Safe-deposit boxes. Create a list of any contents secured in safe-deposit boxes, including who owns each item, the value of each item, and the box's location.

6. Other Key Documents for Your Divorce File

Here are some additional important documents to add to your file:

• Credit reports. Pull both of your credit reports if possible so you have a complete view of your finances before the divorce.
• Log-in credentials. Make sure you have usernames and passwords for all joint accounts, like bank accounts, investment accounts, utilities, and any other shared financial accounts. It's not uncommon for one spouse to handle the family finances, leaving the other spouse in the dark. If that's your situation, get access to joint accounts now.
• Deeds. Locate any documents showing the property you own together or separately.
• Vehicle titles. Make copies of the titles to jointly and separately owned cars and trucks.

7. Take Steps to Separate Your Finances During a Divorce

Starting a life of your own comes with a bunch of to-dos. Here are some of the most important:

• Protect your credit. Divorces can harm your credit, so you might want to consider opening a new credit card in your name. However, check your state laws first, because if you open a credit card while you’re still married, a court may consider this to be a community or joint credit card. Once you are separated, though, opening a new account in your own name will help you maintain your credit after the divorce.
• Line up a bank account. You can generally open a new bank account in your name at any time. You don't have to wait until a formal separation date. Just be sure to disclose it during the divorce process, as all accounts must be reported. Once you have a separate account, you'll be ready to track your own finances. Be careful about moving your direct deposit to your new account. In many states, your earnings after the date of legal separation are considered your separate property, but the rules vary, so get specific advice for your situation.
• Protect your information. Get a secure email address and change any passwords you’ve used in the past, including social media accounts, especially if you think your spouse might access this information to use against you in the divorce.
• Set up a PO Box. If you have a lawyer or expect to get other mail related to your divorce or separation, consider getting a PO Box in your name so you can receive important documents without risking your spouse gaining access. If you can’t afford a PO Box, consider asking a family member or friend to allow you to have your lawyer send mail to their address.
• Find health insurance. Begin exploring your health care options right away. If you are currently on your spouse's employer health plan, find out if you qualify for coverage through COBRA. If you prefer your own plan, explore options through your own employer, the Affordable Care Act marketplace, or your local Health and Human Services Department to determine if you qualify for state assistance.
• Itemize your belongings. Create a list of personal items that belong only to you, like family heirlooms or gifts. If necessary, secure these items with a family member, but be sure to disclose them in the financial or other disclosures when the court or opposing attorney asks. Make sure you also disclose any inheritances from before and during the marriage.
• Update insurance documents. Whether and when you can change your estate planning documents and insurance beneficiary designations during a divorce depends on your state's laws and any temporary court orders in your case. Review your state laws or talk to an attorney before making changes. But once you are cleared to make changes, do it as soon as possible. Divorce doesn't automatically revoke beneficiary designations on many accounts, so you need to update them manually. You should also update any powers of attorney that grant your spouse the right to make decisions for you.

8. Decide Your Living Arrangements

Some divorcing couples can't afford to pay two mortgages or rent, so they live together throughout the divorce. If living together isn't an option, you will need to decide which spouse will move out of the family home during the divorce. If you can't agree, you might need to ask a judge to decide who should have exclusive use of the home until you decide how to divide the property later.

In many cases, if there are minor children, the primary caretaker of the children will remain in the home to provide stability for the children. If you believe your spouse will stay in the marital home throughout the divorce process, you should begin looking for a place to stay as quickly as possible. But you might want to speak with your attorney first to find out how moving out could affect the division of assets in your divorce.

9. Think About Employment

It's fairly common for one spouse to work while the other stays home to care for the kids. But once you're running two separate households, money gets tight fast. If you're currently unemployed and able to work, start looking for a job as soon as possible.

You may be entitled to temporary spousal support or temporary child support while the divorce is pending, especially if there's a big difference between your and your spouse's incomes. If your spouse won't agree to pay support, you can ask a judge to order it.

10. If You Have Experienced Domestic Violence, Get Help

Abuse can take many forms. If you've been subjected to physical violence, threats, emotional abuse, or controlling behavior, your safety comes first. Take these steps:

• Get help. Reach out to a domestic violence advocate, a trusted friend or family member, or a professional counselor. You should consider asking the court for a restraining order to keep your spouse away from you. A restraining order can be requested at the time you file for divorce, or separately.
• Document the abuse. Write down every incident of domestic violence or child abuse you can remember, including dates, what happened, and any injuries caused by the incidents. Keep any supporting evidence, like videos, photos, text messages, emails, and police reports, in a secure place.

Next Steps in the Divorce Process

Simply gathering all the necessary information for a divorce—let alone navigating the actual divorce process—might seem impossible. You can do it, though, just like so many others have, taking just one step at a time.

Regardless of the path you choose—handling your own divorce, getting online help, or working with professionals like a mediator or divorce lawyer—use your checklist and your support network. And once the legal and logistical matters have been handled, you can start the process of rebuilding your life.